Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Damn Homie, In High School You Was The Man Homie, WTF Happen To You?

Tha King hates Tuesdays, always have. Your not halfway through the week but you've already work two days. For the first time I'm not looking forward to Thanksgiving, more specifically the days after thanksgiving. Tha King is not excited about eating some manifestation of turkey for the next four days, Turkey sandwich, Turkey salad, Turkey omelet, turkey soup... Anyways, I figured I would throw in a post today because I'm almost certain that I won't be doing anymore this week. 
 
The oldies station is playing on the radio at work today, every once in a while a song comes on from a artist that makes you go, "Damn, what the f*ck happen to them?" Of course that got Tha King thinking about a bunch of other people that fell of the face of the earth seemingly;
 
 

Ja Rule and Ashanti; Damn homies! Yall were the two hottest artists in music for a while. What happened? Did Ashanti forget how to sing? Could she ever in the first place? Ja Rule takes the double L, not only did you let some dude name Curtis single handedly demolish you career, Irv Gotti got some Ashanti ass and you didn't! Shame on you! Even Nelly hit that. I'm ashamed to say we live in the same borough

Sisqo; Was he gay? He had to be gay, straight dudes don't take pictures like this. For a while people were saying that Dru Hill was the next Boyz II Men, yea, that worked well. He had his 15 mins of fame as a solo artist with the thong song. Now he's just to butt of alot of jokes. You can't tell me this guy isn't gay man. He's got platinum hair! Enter the dragon...I think the Dragon was entering him
 
 
The Rock; IF YA SMELLLLL......No rock, all we smell now is those B-grade disney movies you keep putting out. You said you were leaving wrestling to be a serious actor, Return to witch mountain? That's your idea of serious. Save yourself and get your candy ass back back in the ring. I used to love this guy man, I had the eye brow down and everything. Now look at you, Jabroni
 


Bad Boy Records; 112, Black Rob, Da Band, Loon, G Dep, Carl Thomas, Mario Winans, Shyne, the list goes on forever. Bad Boy artists drop like flies. Only the one know as Diddy knows the whereabouts of these people. Personally the Tha King thinks he had them all killed, take that take that. What about Yung Joc? What happened to him? You've got some explaining to do Mr Combs. Why would anyone want to work for Diddy if you end up missing?
 
I could be here all day listing people. I'll turn it over to you people? Who else has fallen off the map like a shooting star? King Out.



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Monday, November 23, 2009

Tommy you ain't got no damn job!! But Tha King will help you get one.....


 
What's shaking everyone? Another monday, hope everyone enjoyed their weekend. The holidays are fast approaching, scratch that, they're here. Tha King knows two things that everyone wishes they had during the holiday are less pounds(unless your one those eat everything and never gain pound type of people, in which case you can go choke on a turkey bone.) and more cash. Tha King cannot help you with the pounds as I need some damn help myself. However I can help you with cash situation. Unfortunately a lot of people are out of a job currently, which means your most likely dreading the holiday season. Tha King can't find you a job but what I can do is make sure your doing all the right things to put yourself in the best position possible. We'll break it up into 2 sections; Pre-Interview and Interview.
 
 
Pre-Interview
 
Apply Everywhere; Yes, everywhere! The most common thing I hear from unemployed people is; "Oh hell no, I'm not working at no fast-food restaurant" -Ummm Excuse me? YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB. Those who know Tha King personally know that he too as echoed this sentiment. That's because I have a job, two at the moment. While a job at Mickey D's may not cover all your bills, its better to get some paid than none. Humble yourself and get your ass to work.
 
Resume: Learn how to a prepare a resume, there is some much information online about how to correctly prepare one. Tha King will admit even I don't know everything. I was just informed recently that there is something called "resume paper," who knew? For those of you that are making one, let me make this  clear; Baby sitting little Trevaughn at night while his mother Peaches strips is not admissible as employment history. If you've never had a job your better off not having a resume than having one that details how you used to do pick ups and drop offs for Marlo Stanfield.
 
The Interview
 
Dress like you want a job: I don't know how many times I've seen people come to job fairs/interviews with jeans and sneakers on. Your not getting a job with sneakers on. It doesn't matter what the job is, dress  business casual at the least. If you don't know what business casual is then visit http://humanresources.about.com/od/workrelationships/a/dress_code.htm. First impressions are everything, and people see you before they hear anything you have to say.
 
Learn to answer the question: At just about every job interview your going to be asked to tell the interview a little bit about yourself. This question can be a tab misleading, they don't want to know that you were the starting point guard on your high school basketball team or the captain of the cheerleading squad. They also don't want to know about your abusive boyfriend or you crack head sister. Keep it short and sweet; I'm Tha King, blogger extraordinaire, I graduated from from Ohio State University, since then I've been working as a male escort.....you get the point
 
Be Confident and ask questions: Walk in there like there is no way in hell they wouldn't hire you. Also, when they ask if you have any questions for them, ASK SOMETHING! It shows you care. I like to go with the opportunity for upward mobility, it shows ambition, and you know everyone loves an ambitious person
 
 
For those of you that are currently unemployed, don't let what they say in the news fool you. There's a job out there for you, you just have to find it. Stay positive and good luck, Tha King will see you at the bank when your depositing that 1st check!
 
 
 
 
 


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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I Got A Big Ego - The Problem with the Answer( and most men that are past their prime)


Happy hump day ladies and gents. Its one week before Thanksgiving, which means the clothes your wearing now probably won't fit by this time next month. Can you believe that Tha King's mama actually started making dishes for turkey day yesterday? That don't make no damn sense. Tha King really needs to get back in the gym.

As I stated before, Tha King tends to shy away from sports related topicsbecause of the largely female following that this blog has(hey ladieeeees). Many of whom don't know the difference between a homerun and a touchdown. However this topic involves someone who, at the high of his career, was a pop culture icon. His current situation is also a microcosm of what all men seem to go through as they get older.

Pictured above is Allen Iverson, if you didn't know that then click the back button on your browser immediately. For the past 10 years Iverson has been one of the most popular athletes in pro sports. He's one of the people that popularized the whole rows and tats(Cornrows and Tattoos for the slang impaired) phenomenon. Iverson made a name for himself by calling his own shots. He played his way, with all his heart, and the people loved him for it.

Sadly no man can escape time, and The Answer has lost a step or two on his trademark quickness over the years. The younger players are proving that basketball is a young mans game. After brief stints on other teams, AI was cut from his latest team yesterday. Not because he's washed up, Iverson is more than capable of being an effective role player on a team, but because he's not willing to come to terms with the fact that his days as a superstar have ended. Instead of being the OG on a team, taking the young guns under his wing and sharing his experience, he wants the young guns to fall back while he does his swan song.

This attitude is not uncommon amongst men as they get older. In business, on the block and on the court or field, older men never want to come to terms with the fact that they've past their prime. Instead of being a mentoring figure to the younger generation, they feel the need to challenge their youthful counterparts. Fear of being replaced and forgotten I suppose. It only makes them seem bitter and as a result when the younger generation does replace them they feel no need to pay homage because they weren't welcomed in the first place. If the OG's were to embrace their position and mentor the young guns they would realize that they would never be forgotten.

Tha King is a fan of AI, he respects him for giving 110% every time he stepped on the court. Iverson hasn't taken a game off since he turned pro, but the 50pts games and the superstar status is over. Now its up to him, and any other man in this situation, to realize that its time to shallow their pride and become a mentor, stars die, teacher and mentors live on the people they've touched. King out.

Monday, November 16, 2009

WWJD (What would Jay Do?)


Its ya boy!! Greetings and happy Monday, I trust everyone had a good weekend. The weather is getting Chilly so enjoy that last few days of warm temperatures while it lasts. Have you guys ever seen those bracelets that say "WWJD" on them? It stands for What Would Jesus Do. They're supposed to remind people to think to Jesus and use his words to help them when they are in need of guidance. Tha King thinks that while this is a good idea, most of us already know what Jesus would do and we don't do it anyway. Or if your like Tha King and don't attend church regularly you may not have a bible scripture that applies at hand at all times.

Religious beliefs aside, Tha King started to think; who has an extensive body of work that people apply to everyday life? Or at least wish that they could? Somebody that could say to do or not do something and the masses will follow. Just as Tha King was brainstorming, "Empire State" came on the radio.....bingo. Hov! This guy has been making rules for people to live by for years. Here are some of Jay's rules to live by, enjoy;


"I don't wear jerseys I'm 30 plus give a crisp pair of jeans nigga "button ups. - I remember when this album first came out. That Friday everybody and their mama had on a Jersey, Monday morning? Tight Jeans and button up shirts. Tha King and his friends were guilty of this as well. Not the tight Jeans though.

"We don't believe you, you need more people" - What the best way to make someone believe what your saying? Have an alibi, the more the better. Females must have been listening when he said this cause they stay with an alibi.

"Im a pimp by blood, not relation/ Yall be chasin I replace 'em" - Need I say more?

"Death before dishonor and I'll tell you what else/ I'll tighten my belt before I beg for help. - 2 for 1, Death before dishonor is rather self explanatory, although some people act like they never heard it before. The 2nd part is common practice for cocky bastards like Tha King. I'd rather be without something than ask for help, let alone beg.

"Fuck You Pay me !" Ok ok, Jay didn't technically say that, but it was on his song and it's too important to leave out. Don't take people's bullshit excuses for not paying you what they owe you. When they start giving excuses just look them in the eye and say...FUCK YOU! PAY ME!

Kinda of in a rush so I'll turn it over to you guys; Anymore Hov quotes to live by?

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Home of the Free, Land of the Brave.


Tha King would like to remind everyone that while your enjoying your day off tomorrow, those of us that have one, stop and think about the veterans and the people on active duty in the United States Armed Forces. They sacrifice so that we can enjoy the freedom that we so often take for granted. So if you see a vet or a uniformed officer tomorrow, stop and tell him/her thanks.
 
Tha King loves going to the barber shop, well not really because it reminds me that my hairline is receding( I swear I'm going to get hair implants, I refuse to be bald.) What I love about the barber shop is the conversation. It's a bunch of dudes from all walks of life, each with an opinion and they aren't afraid to share it. Unlike most barber shops that just talk about sports, music and women, we often discuss world news and politics. I live in a largely west indian neighborhood and the discussion yesterday was between three West Indian gentleman, one Haitian, one Jamaican, and the other from Trinidad. To keep it simple we'll call them Mr H, Mr J and Mr T( I pity the fool!).
 
The conversation started with Mr T and Mr H complaining that America is not the place that it was hyped up to be when they where in their respective homelands. Mr T was saying he was told that all his dreams would come true when he came to America and felt lied to when he did come over. Their complaints didn't sit well with Mr J, who told them to stop complaining and be thankful for everything they have been able to do in America. He said the American was "heaven on earth" compared to where they had come from. Mr T and Mr H disagreed and said that they were told they could find good paying jobs here but once you get here you can't do much of anything unless you have a green card. Mr J's response was that of many people; "If you don't like here, go back where you came from."
 
Contrary to popular belief, Tha King is not West Indian. Technically he is half but I was not raised around that side of my family so my upbringing was in a "yankee" household. That being said, as I've gotten older I've become more and more exposed to West Indian and Caribbean culture. Most of my friends are West Indian as is my girlfriend. I've even taken trips to many of the Islands. Coming from a African American family and being educated in American schools I can say that a partially agree with Mr H and Mr T. If you read an American history book you would get the impression that opportunity is thrown at you the moment you step of the boat(was that not politically correct? Ahhh who cares?) This is definitely not the case, especially if your skin is any shade close to Tha Kings'. If America is being portrayed as this paradise to the people who were born here than I can only imagine how its portrayed overseas. Shit isn't anywhere near as sweet as they make it out to be.
 
That being said, It's still pretty damn sweet. You can do things in America that you could never imagine doing in other countries. Opportunities are abundant here, more than anywhere else, but nothing is given and nothing promised. The misconception is that you will be showered with riches upon arrival, but that's not the "American Dream." The deal is, you can do anything you want in America, but you have to do it the American way. Education, and hard work, maybe just a dash of luck too. Your never going to live the American dream as a high school dropout driving a dollar van. You have to follow the plan. Does it always work? Of course not, but a chance is all you can really ask for in this world. You'll damn sure get a chance here.
 
What do you guys think? Is the American Dream bullshit? Were Mr H and Mr T right? Or is it really "heaven on earth" like Mr J claims it is? 


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Monday, November 09, 2009

Love and Basketball


Happy Monday to everyone out there in Blogger land. Tha King had a very eventful weekend, actually I didn't but it just sounds better to say that you did. I trust everyone watch the Rihanna interview. Tha King won't speak on it yet, I think I'm going to watch it again and make a post out of it. Stay tuned.


For those of you that don't know, and I don't know how you could not know by now, Tha King is a sports fanatic. Football, baseball, tennis, rugby, you name it and I'll watch it. Sports is wonderful, the action, the drama, the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat(sorry I had to). Sport has the ability to put you through a myriad of emotions, mainly because these are real people with real lives and problems that your watching. No actors needed. Often times Tha King finds himself applying elements of sports to other parts of life. My relationship for example. Any relationship for the matter. If we could do certain things that are done in sports in our relationships we would live much happier, conflict free lives. So with out further adieu, here are some things in sports that should be used in relationships.



Free Agency; What a wonderful concept. You sign an agreement to be loyal to one person for a certain amount of time. Once that time is up, you can stay with your mate, or hit the open market looking for something new. Like a relationship with and expiration date Saves the pain of breakups, you know damn well my contract is up. You can even make an offer to stay with me, or I can keep it moving on to the next one.



Instant Replay; Picture this, your out having a "romantic interlude" with your significant other( sex, for the slowpokes). Everything is good, your doing all the nasty stuff your mate loves. She/He is loving it. Getting louder as you keep going. All of a sudden they open their mouth to call you name, "ohh..................." Hold the fuck up, did you just call me Rico?! Who the FUCK its Rico!?! Of course she's going to deny it, "oh no baby I heard me wrong." This could be a problem....so lets go to the videotape!


Arbitration; You Know that argument that you to can never settle? You go back and forth but neither side is willing to concede? Whether its Lights on or off, KFC or Popeye's, His mom's house for X-mas or yours. You two are never gonna settle it by yourselves, so why not let someone else do it for you?


Awards; Everyone likes to be appreciated. What better way to show your girl you care than to nominated her for M.V.P.? Most Valuable pussy.
See? Who said sports never helped you out in real life?











Thursday, November 05, 2009

WORLD CHAMPIONS !!!
















Congratulations to the New York Yankees on their 27th world series championship. Now all Tha King needs is the Knicks to win a ring and I can die a happy man.

Monday, November 02, 2009

Hip Hop Hooray!(not) - The 5 things/people that are killing Hip Hop.


Happy Monday friends. Tha King hopes everyone had a funny and freaky Halloween weekend. As an adult Halloween becomes less about candy and costumes and more about freakiness...and costumes. This week Tha King is making a commitment not to talk about anything relationship/sex related. I know this my disappoint the nymphos that read but fret not, Tha King as some goodies in store. Starting today.....

Contrary to what my Fellow Queensian(work with me) Nas may have said, Hip Hop is NOT dead, but its on life support and they're getting ready to take out that feeding tube. Hip Hop is very near and dear to Tha King's heart, I was born during the its infancy and have grown as it has, the music of the time has served as a sound track for my life. The past 5 or so years have been particularly painful to bear as Hip Hop as transformed from the ground breaking music of a rebellious generation to the mundane, repetitive nonsense that frequents the radio currently. In order to bring the music of my generation back from the brink of extinction, we must first identify the major problems plaguing it. So Tha King presents to you, The 5 major Things/ People that are killing Hip Hop.(sigh)This may take a while.


1. The Internet; The Internet has forever changed our society in ways we can't even begin to comprehend. All types of music from all over the world is at our fingertips. The way artists create, market and sell music has change to accommodate what has become the most popular medium. All is not sunshine and roses though. Hip Hop as felt the ill-affects of this transition. Every 5 seconds are new "Internet sensation" is setting the hip hop world ablaze with freestyles recorded on his web cam in the basement of his grandma's house. For every artist that hits the mainstream, there are 10 more on the net proclaiming they are better, and people are buying it. Before a rapper had to prove he was better on a real record or in a battle. Now everyone anoints Mookie Mook from Ohio the man because he was 20,000 YouTube views. Another problem with the Internet is its affect on record sales. With an artist's entire album on Lime Wire the week before it's released in stores, "Fans" are not going out to support the artist of their choice. Which lead me to number 2......

2. Cheap ass/ Ignorant ass "fans"; This pisses Tha King off for lots of reasons. Mainly because we're all guilty of it at one point or another.(Yes, you too.) The average hip hop fan is male, 18-24 years old. So why is it that 90% of total hip hop sale are by Females and teenagers ages 13-17? What are they buying? Plies(ugh! typing his name just pissed me off), Souljah Boy, Nicki Manaj and all these other douche bags who got a 90 on their rhyming words exam in the 5th grade and think they can rap. This sends a messages to the legitimate artists. Get down or lay down. The genuine lyricist has a million downloads online and his music is proclaimed hip hop genius, yet his album goes triple wood when it hits the stores. Bubble gum rapper goes platinum the 1st week. How can you call yourself a fan if you don't support the artists work?

3. Record Labels/ Execs; Tha King shutters at the thought that the people who made the decision to give Lil Mama and OJ the Juice man record deals are currently sitting in a office building making more decisions that affect the music that I am exposed to. The Person that signed off on the Plies album is making millions of dollars? Seriously? To make matters worse. When an artist with talent does come into their office. These fools want to try to give them a gimmick. MC's don't have gimmicks, jokers have gimmicks.

4. Lies; "We don't believe you, you need more people." MC's have always embellished slightly about the lives that they have lived but it get to a point where it becomes ridiculous. Even if we don't believe you at least make your portrayals believable. The only weight Rick Ross has moved is his body weight every time his fat ass walks. Tha King knows it, Rick Ross knows it and so does everyone else. If you've never killed stop talking about killing, if you've never sold drugs don't make a song about it. You don't have to talk about whatever one else is. People will accept your music if its creditable

5. New York City Ok, just hear me out for a second. We all know it started in Queensbri.....uhhhh The South Bronx. We all know BK is the home of the greatest rappers. We know all the other hard niggas come from Yonkers. But wake up! Rap exists outside New York, good rap. Yet whenever New Yorkers are presented an MC from outside of NY we turn our noses up slightly. If Hip Hop is gonna grow, we have to get off our high horse and be more accepting of Non NY Hip Hop. A message to the rest of the country; Plies(Tha King hates him with every fiber of his being, can you tell?) is not gonna cut it. Leave the Kool-Aid shit on the other side of the Hudson.

Tha King considered making this a 10 item list, I didn't talk about the Producers, the Radio stations and fans(stans) hanging of the left nut of established artists. I don't wanna be to negative though. I'm a solution orientated person. That being said, I'm still trying to come up with some solutions.

Agree, Disagree, leave anything out? Love Plies?(If you love Plies and have the balls to say it on this blog be prepared for the repercussions) Let me know people. We have to save Hip Hop!!




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Friday, October 30, 2009

The Magic Word




















Happy Friday folks. This was passed on to me by a young woman who comes to my job from time to time. She is a psychology professor @ York College. So if anyone goes to that school and comes across a Professor Thompson, you can thank her personally.

There is no magic in the world. None, sorry to all you Harry Potter fans. The closest thing to magic in the world is the effect of the one magic word. What makes the magic word so magical? I'll tell you, but don't going telling everyone about the magic word. Only a few people were meant to know of its powers. Think about it, this word can be a noun, adjective, verb. It is understood by everyone all over the world. It has the power to bring joy to the hearts and faces of people, yet it can also be used as a weapon against your enemies.

What is the word you ask? Why it's FUCK of course.

Now I know your parents told you it was such a terrible word, they're wrong. Cancer is a terrible word. War is a terrible word, Tumor is a terrible word. Fuck? It's wonderful!

Don't believe me?

Try this experiment, call your significant other up right now on the phone. You can even send him/her a text. Tell them you've been thinking about fucking them, or that you can't wait to get home and fuck them. I guarantee It will bring smile to their face. Need more proof? The next time someone is pushing you to your limit, look them in the eye and say "FUCK YOU" You'll feel liberated! You can go across the globe and tell someone fuck you and they'll know what your talking about.

That's about it for today folks, short post but Tha King thinks you'll like it. Hey, if you don't then fuck you. Til next time.

Friday, October 23, 2009

8 Inventions that f*cked up the game for Men (in relation to women)

Happy Friday folks, Hopefully this weekend isn't as shitty as the last one in terms of the weather. Since it's the end of the week Tha King thought we should have a little fun today with another list. Like the title says today is 8 inventions that have severely fucked up the game for us dudes. It could be when trying to talk to a female, in the bedroom or whatever else. These are things that have made it that much easier for women to straight shut us down. Why 8? I couldn't think of 10, that's why! Now down to business:
 
 

1. The Cellphone; On the surface it may seem like the cell phone has increased our ability to communicate with the fairer sex. In reality, cellies have made it that much harder of us to speak to them. How many times have you seen a beautiful young lady that you want to kick it to, but there's only one problem. SHE'S ON THE FUCKING PHONE! it never fails, who is she talking to? Probably no one. She simply saw you looking and whipped out that phone to keep your ass away.
 

 
2. The Walkman; The walkman/discman has pretty much put all of us in our own musical bubble. We're completely disconnected from the world around us. In the case of men and women. They get walk by and act like they didn't hear us saying hi (or what's good ma? FYI, that never, ever works fellas. If it does, beware.)
 
 

3. The Text Message; Why specifically the text message? I'll tell you; Guys, close your eyes and spell "specifically" out loud.......I'll wait..........Didn't think so. YOUR ASS CAN'T SPELL. Tha King can't spell to save his life. I misspelled 6 words in this paragraph alone. Women like intelligent men, and you misspelling every other word isn't making you look very good. Thank the lord Blackberries have spell check.(Read the txt in the photo)
 

4. TiVo/DVR; Another invention that seems like it would benefit everyone. Wrong. While your using your DVR to make catch the football games you missed, guess what she is recording? Oprah, The Tyra show, and all those other "Men ain't shit talk shows." If not that than gossip girls or some show with the guy she wishes you would act like. Either way your fucked.
 

5. The B.O.B. (Battery Operated Boyfriend); This one is a killer. Lets face it, she keeps you around for two reasons. Dick, and to lift heavy objects. If she can go buy dick at the store, your left just lifting heavy shit. My friend told me the other day when she's angry at her boyfriend she lays next to him in the bed in whips out her rabbit. What kind of cruel and inhumane shit is that?
 
 

6. The iPod; Why the iPod AND the walkman you ask? The iPod added a new wrinkle in to the equation. Now, not only are you being ignored. If you are lucky enough to get her attention, you are now dealing with a woman angry from listening to her "I hate men" playlist. Ask your girl fellas, they have one. They play it every time you do some dumb shit.

7. The Text Message; Yes, I know its the same as number 3. I thought Of another way we get fucked by text messages. Looking in my phone right now, Tha King has every text I sent/received since september 30th. DELETE YOUR TEXTS, it doesn't even have to be something deceitful your trying to hide. You just may not want your significant other to know that your brother was making fun of you for wetting the bed until you were 12. Just an example.
 
8. Caller ID; Crippling the game. They actually have a device that can warn her that your annoying ass is calling? I bet a man invented this too. I'm sure he was thrilled when is wife started using it against him. Irony
 
 
Well that's the list. Next time you see one of these Items fellas I want you to stop and think of the last time it was used against you. For the ladies, are there any more I left out? Have a safe and happy weekend everyone.
 


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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Guest Blog #2; Demon Ex by Ice0


 
 
Tha King loves this guest blog shit for two reasons; one, I get a day off from blogging and two, I get to pass the mic to a very deserving person who for whatever reason hasn't started their own blog, yet.

Today its my boy Ice0. One of the brightest cats I know. Tha King would even venture as far as to say he looks up to this dude.(Which is hard to do *snickers*) anyways, show him love like you would Tha King and I'll check you guys on the flipside. Get em Ice!


I was given a soap box and fifteen minutes of blog fame. I know tha King stated that this is not a relationship blog; however, the ex is a virus that may poison the sacredness of you and yours. In my travels I wonder what the hell is the point of keeping in contact with the ex. I mean for the simple fact that this person got the X on his or her forehead means that it didn't work. I know, I know X may have had some positive things that benefit you, but those same things make the present uncomfortable. At some point the ex crosses the line. Calls late or says something disrespectful and think nothing of it because that person already went the distance in some cases. Majority of the time in an X situation someone felt like they left unfinished business. Furthermore doesn't it leave that vulnerability door wide open for potential mistakes to happen. Don't get me wrong but when I say contact I mean consistent contact. I would think that its more confusing than anything. Your partner can't tell whether your in contact because friendship or festering feelings. Some say its insecurity and some say relationship etiquette. What do you think? This isn't written in stone there are some X factors that turn out to be cool, but do yall think this is right?


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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Things Your Man Won't Do.














Greetings people. trying develop a little consistency with the posts again, we'll see how long I can keep it up. Tha King is slightly perturbed about the damn Yankees losing but we couldn't expect them to win every game, we'll get them tonight. Like always, today's post comes from the fuckery I witness on a day to day basis. Sometimes it's at home, sometimes from my friends. This one one come from my place of employment, Tha King is the only male that work in his department. So aside from the monthly doses of attitude that I have to endure, I also hear alot of gossip. This weeks gossip? My co-worker, lets call her the Crasher, shes a terrible driver. Crasher is in her mid twenties, cute girl, we get along very well. She is currently in a very serious multi-year relationship with her boyfriend 360. They have been through a great deal in their relationship, including long distance, and the occasional trust issue.


Over the past year, Crasher has complained more and more frequently about 360 not handling his business in the bedroom, she doesn't complain about the quality, rather the quantity she's unhappy with. Crasher has a very strong sex drive and it seems 360 doesn't have one to match. He frequently rejects her sexual advances, telling her "later" or complaining that he's tired. Crasher says he shows his video games more attention than he does her. Needless to say Crasher is fed up. It has gotten to the point where crasher doesn't feel attractive anymore because her man doesn't want to hit it. She tried talking to him but it seems he's not understanding. Crasher suspects that the reason for his lack of energy is that he's been sleeping with another women.....or perhaps a man. She has always threatened to get her physical needs tended to else where but no one ever took her seriously, well it seems she wasn't bullshitting after all.

Tha King thinks this a pretty interesting situation. A relationship is supposed to be a sacred thing and you aren't supposed break that. One the other hand, Both parties in the relationship are supposed to handle their relationship responsibilities. Fellas that means when your girl wants the pipe, you give it to her. Your tired? Drink a redbull and handle your business. She's a woman she gets offered dick at least 5 times a day, yet she has promised to stick with your sorry ass. Now you gotta show and prove so she doesn't regret her decision. If a relationship is a contract, who broke it first? I can't decide so you guys get to pass judgement; Is Crashers reason for stepping out valid? Doesn't not handling your partners physical need give you the right to get your freak on somewhere else? Or is Crasher just a fast ass who would have made any excuse for fucking around. What say you?

Monday, October 19, 2009

Hateerr


 
I trust everyone had a safe and productive weekend. Tha King's weekend was bitter-sweet. Although they Yankees kicked ass, both the Jets and the Giants lost. This saddens Tha King, especially his beloved G-Men. We'll bounce back next week though. My weekend was also sleepless thanks to that damn movie Paranormal Activity. Tha King refuses to sleep with out a light on now. I had a whole weeks worth of Blog posts written out and ready to go, but sometimes things come up that need to be addressed. A warning to all of you people with short attention spans, this one may get a little lengthy. 
 
Tha King hates ignorance. It's completely unacceptable and unnecessary. The thing that pisses Tha King off the most about ignorant people is that they always feel the need to share their ignorant ass opinion. You know damn well what your mama told you about saying nice things. You can't tell an ignorant person anything, although I still try. Just yesterday I had a conversation(more like an argument) with this ignorant ass fool from a message board that I frequent. Instead of going on and on about what we were talking about, Tha King shall just provide some preface than let the convo speak for itself.
 
DISCLAIMER
-Yes, we rate women on a scale of 1-10. Don't ask me what your number is, I'm going to lie to you.
-Yes, we refer to some women as bitches(I just did it casue he did it, I'm sorry mama!)
-Yes, some of the pictures were topless. If they want to do their chicks dirty like that they can go right ahead. Watch who you send pictures to ladies.
 
 
It's a 3 person conversation, Myself (Tha King) Ignorant ass fool (Brandon) and Wade Wilson. Wade Wilson had posted some pictures of some of his lady friends for the viewing pleasure of the people on the message board. Everyone responded with pictures complimenting the females when here comes Mr Ignorant ass fool talking shit;
 
 ** Oct 18 Sun 22:48 **
Wade Wilson: Everyone ZZZZZzzzzz?
** Oct 18 Sun 22:50 **
Tha King: Nah, watching football.
** Oct 18 Sun 22:50 **
Wade Wilson: Bears game ??
** Oct 18 Sun 22:50 **
Tha King: Yessir
** Oct 18 Sun 22:51 **
Tha King: Yo wade where you find these spanish chicks? put me on.
** Oct 18 Sun 22:51 **
Wade Wilson: What kind?
** Oct 18 Sun 22:51 **
Wade Wilson: Dominica?
** Oct 18 Sun 22:51 **
Wade Wilson: Cuban mixed with puerto rican?
 
Enter Mr Ignorant.

** Oct 18 Sun 22:51 **
brandon: Bro that's the caliber of chicks u pull?
** Oct 18 Sun 22:51 **
Wade Wilson: That flavor is nice really really nice but crazy
** Oct 18 Sun 22:51 **
brandon: What's with all these NTrs(name of the message board) messing with fat girls
** Oct 18 Sun 22:51 **
brandon: Dumbfounded
** Oct 18 Sun 22:51 **
brandon: I do not talk to girls who weigh over 140
** Oct 18 Sun 22:53 **
Wade Wilson: How you know ? Pocket scale ?
** Oct 18 Sun 22:53 **
brandon: I ask every chick what her weight is
** Oct 18 Sun 22:53 **
brandon: If I'm talking to her
** Oct 18 Sun 22:53 **
brandon: And height
** Oct 18 Sun 22:54 **
Wade Wilson: They answer profoundly ?
** Oct 18 Sun 22:54 **
brandon: They're usually caught off guard
** Oct 18 Sun 22:54 **
brandon: Then I say its just a simple question
** Oct 18 Sun 22:54 **
brandon: And I get it out of them
 ** Oct 18 Sun 22:56 **
Tha King: My girl is over 140, she's also damn near 6 feet tall. It depends on who your dealing with
** Oct 18 Sun 22:56 **
brandon: I also woudnt fuck with a bitch over 6ft tall
** Oct 18 Sun 22:56 **
brandon: Cuz that's a man my brotha
** Oct 18 Sun 22:57 **
Tha King: That's your prerogative, that's also stupid reasoning, is a dude under 5'7" a female?
 brandon: That chick u posted with her boobs is easily pushing 160
** Oct 18 Sun 22:57 **
brandon: Probly 5'4
** Oct 18 Sun 22:59 **
Tha King: Your really hung up on weight.
** Oct 18 Sun 22:59 **
brandon: I'm just sayin
** Oct 18 Sun 22:59 **
 brandon: We'll all kno NTrs only pull dimes
** Oct 18 Sun 22:59 **
brandon: Yet all these pics I've seen were all of fat girls
** Oct 18 Sun 22:59 **
brandon: Excluding maybe one
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:02 **
brandon: Ur black tho if recall right
** Oct 18 Sun 23:02 **
brandon: Black guys generally like heavier chicks
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:05 **
Tha King: That's a lie
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:05 **
Tha King: But yes I am black
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:07 **
Tha King: And for perspective, I googled Beyonce's weight, she's btwn 130-160
** Oct 18 Sun 23:07 **
Tha King: U wouldn't smash?
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:07 **
brandon: 130-160 is a HUGE difference
** Oct 18 Sun 23:07 **
brandon: Nobody knows her real weight
** Oct 18 Sun 23:07 **
brandon: Its all speculation
** Oct 18 Sun 23:07 **
brandon: And beyonce is not heavy
** Oct 18 Sun 23:08 **
Tha King: Would u smash is the question
** Oct 18 Sun 23:08 **
brandon: Yes
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:08 **
Wade Wilson: Yes amen to that
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:08 **
brandon: She's probly 1 of 3 black chicks I'd smash in the world
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:08 **
brandon: That wildebeest is the best u cud pull?
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:10 **
Tha King: Smh, dudes need to broaden they horizons.
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:11 **
brandon: If I fucked all the fat/average chicks that I CUD have
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:11 **
brandon: My #'s wud be in the 100's
** Oct 18 Sun 23:11 **
brandon: Quality > quantity
** Oct 18 Sun 23:13 **
Tha King: Brandon let's see these dimes u speak of
** Oct 18 Sun 23:13 **
brandon: I've posted mad chicks in here already
** Oct 18 Sun 23:13 **
brandon: I never said dimes either
** Oct 18 Sun 23:15 **
Tha King: I must have missed them
** Oct 18 Sun 23:15 **
brandon: Hold up will put a few up
** Oct 18 Sun 23:15 **
brandon: Does that suffice
** Oct 18 Sun 23:20 **
Tha King: No faces?
** Oct 18 Sun 23:20 **
brandon: There's faces
** Oct 18 Sun 23:20 **
brandon: The body structure is more of the focus
** Oct 18 Sun 23:21 **
Wade Wilson: Their all white though ? White girls are easy
** Oct 18 Sun 23:21 **
brandon: They're also the hottest
** Oct 18 Sun 23:21 **
brandon: None of those girls are under a 7
** Oct 18 Sun 23:23 **
Tha King: Can't tell with no faces
** Oct 18 Sun 23:23 **
Tha King: The one face I see is a 6 at best
** Oct 18 Sun 23:23 **
brandon: On the floor?
** Oct 18 Sun 23:24 **
Tha King: 6.5 round to 7 if you like
** Oct 18 Sun 23:24 **
brandon: Bro she's a model who's been published in mags
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:25 **
Tha King: U never seen a ugly model?
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:25 **
Wade Wilson: White skeletons, nothing to look at
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:25 **
brandon: I never seen a model who's a 6 in a magazine, no
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:25 **
brandon: That fat mexican bitch showing her pancake titties and sausage fingers is no higher than a 4
** Oct 18 Sun 23:26 **
Tha King: Well you said chick on the floor was a 7 so no, I guess u haven't.
** Oct 18 Sun 23:26 **
brandon: I said none of the chicks are under a 7
** Oct 18 Sun 23:26 **
brandon: That girl is easily an 8
** Oct 18 Sun 23:28 **
Tha King: Your scale is drastically different than mine.
** Oct 18 Sun 23:28 **
brandon: he posted king kong bro
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:29 **
brandon: Girls in general are supposed to be petite feminine and delicate
** Oct 18 Sun 23:29 **
brandon: Not sumthing that belongs confined in a cage
** Oct 18 Sun 23:32 **
Tha King: I think that bitch on the floor belongs in a cage. To each his own
** Oct 18 Sun 23:34 **
Tha King: I'll keep my monkeys, u keep ur crack heads
** Oct 18 Sun 23:35 **
Tha King: Stop being a hater, u don't like, don't say anything. Simple

 
Well, that was long as hell. Anyways, what reason is their for this type of foolishness? "I only talk to girls that weight 140?" How stupid do you sound? I have no tolerance for white boys that try to put down women of other races because it's not their preference, then when we turn the tables and do the same thing they get offended. Women of all shapes and sizes are beautiful. Society is too hung up on these Lindsy Lohan looking chicks and as a result, people think that's the way a "beautiful" woman is supposed to look. Tha King thinks Lindsy Lohan looks like she's sick. Tha King has his my preference of how a woman is supposed to look, but what do I have to gain from going around putting down women that don't look the way I like? The main point of this post is, keep your ignorant ass opinions to yourself, that goes for everyone. No one wants to hear your nonsense. That's all for today people. Peace.



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Friday, October 16, 2009

$ For The Love of Money $

Happy Friday people. It's gonna be a pretty shitty weekend weather wise but try to enjoy it. Although it may seem like it from time to time, this is not a "sex and relationship" blog. There are more than enough of those on the web. Some damn good ones too. I do tend to talk about topics pertaining to sex and relationships pretty often but that's because it just so much fun to discuss. Today though we're going to talk about something equally if not more fun than sex......MONEY. I love it, you love it, it makes the world go round, its the root of all evil, we've heard it all. This weeks events have lead me to ponder a question we've all asked ourselves, What would you do for money?



For those of you who don't know, the man pictured above is radio host, conservative political speaker and all around douche bag Rush Limbaugh. I don't want to go to in-depth on the magnitude of his douche bag-ness but I'm sure some people may not be familiar with him. He's one of the most popular figures in conservative white America, basically he's against everything that would a benefit a minority in this country, which is why a chose the picture that looks like he has a dick in his mouth. Mr. Limbaugh recently joined a group of rich mofo's who are interested in buying the St Louis Rams( that's football ladies). This became a bit of any issue because Limbaugh has mad countless racist statements during his time on air, one of which was directed at NFL superstar Donovan McNabb. Limbaugh claimed that McNabb was "overrated" and that the only reason he has kept his job is because the media is so thirsty to see a black Quarterback do well.


This didn't sit to well with McNabb and a bunch of other black NFL players. Many of them have come out and said they wouldn't play for a team that Limbaugh owned. Other players said that they don't care who owns the team as long as the checks are on time.


This got Tha King to thinking, does everyone/thing have a price? Someone asked me last week if I would let another man sleep with my girl for a million dollars, Tha King's answer was HELL NO! I don't want the money that bad. Is Tha King tripping? I would like to think my integrity is priceless, but a nigga got bills man. Would you compromise your morals for the right amount of money? Put your self in the shoes of the NFL players. Would you work for a racist/ sexist/ whatever else-ist? What wouldn't you do no matter what the amount? That's my time for today folks, check you later.



PS: LETS GO YANKEES!!!





Thursday, October 15, 2009

Lets Talk About Sex ( I hate that song)

jahairamaravilla
Back again people. Tha King really needs to get back on his grind as far as posting regularly. Gotta have shit to talk about though. I just need to find a balance between living life and writing about it. Before I get on with today's post I have a couple of things I must address. Ahem! 1st off. Tha King knows that a lot of people read this blog from their blackberry. Which means you may not be able to leave comments(which really does piss me off people, leave comments!) well, like any King would do, I have identified the problem and have come up with a solution. Well actually my home girl came up with it and I'm just taking credit for it. All you need to do is download the BOLT browser, its the best browser out for Blackberry so you need this in your life. You can download it at; http://boltbrowser.com/boltbb.jad


Now, on to Tha King's favorite topic, SEX. You know you like talking about it too so Tha King would appreciate it if you stop frontin. Before the freaks start getting too excited, nothing sexual is actually going to be discussed today. What Tha King wants to talk about today is why, in 2009, people are still uncomfortable talking about sex. You guys can't be serious, we're all doing it, (Except my friend from a couple posts ago.) So why not discuss it? Tha King likes to consider himself a sexual intellectual, I got that way by openly discussing sex with many different people. I was always able to go to my mother or older brother with a sexual question. Even on the rare occasions my P.O.S. father was around, he would speak openly about sex with my and my brother(maybe a little too openly, he's an old perv.)

Now I'm not saying you have to go out and put all of you business in the street, if you do that's your prerogative, but at least be able to discuss important topics. Most importantly, safe sex, STD's and things of that nature. If you can't talk about it with your friend, how are you gonna talk about it with your kids when the time comes? When a kid doesn't get this information from home he gets the information from other sources, sources which may not know shit them damn selves. The best thing in the world to have as a kid is an older sibling. Tha King has learned a great deal from his freak ass brother, although I'll never admit it to him. So if you have younger brothers or sisters, talk to them! Leave the pornos and the toys where they can find them. The worst thing in the world is for a kid to be learning from his friends, I hate being on the bus and hearing two boys talking about sex and giving each other wrong information, and it happens often. I feel like I'm crossing over into preachyville so I'll go on about my day.

Are you comfortable talking about sex with your peers? Your siblings? Parents? Children if you have them? What will you and won't you discuss?

Monday, October 05, 2009

Good Advice

It's been a long time, but Tha King has returned! I apologize for the absence and I have a very valid explanation for it........I just didn't feel like posting damnit! This is supposed to be fun/therapeutic for me. The minute it becomes a burden I stop, eventually the writer in me will come out again. I have been stockpiling ideas over the past few weeks, now all I have to do is try and remember them. I really need to start writing shit down.

Today, I'm going to throw myself under the bus, slightly.(Settle down all you Sha...uhhhh King haters. Its not that serious.) I'm going to throw myself under the bus in the sense that I'm going to criticize something that I admittedly do although I am trying to kick that habit. It's something that's especially stupid when your in a relationship, it annoys my girl to no end. What am I talking about? I'm talking about when a man/woman in need of advice, be it romantic or sexual, confide in someone of the opposite sex. Those of us that do it think it's perfectly logical and pretty damn smart. If I'm having a problem with my girl, why not ask the advice of another female? right? Wrong.

For starters you have to analyze the nature of the relationship you have with this person. Family doesn't apply because they're family and their motives are completely different. As for "friends" of the opposite sex, the bottom line is most of our friends of the opposite sex either want to bone us, we want to bone them or we've boned already. DON'T LIE PEOPLE!
As with everything in life they're are exceptions but if you think about it. Most of your friends of the opposite sex fall under one of the three ( co-workers and such don't apply here.)

So back to the topic at hand, why is it bad to ask these people for advice? They're bias. What business do I have asking a single females of the the same age group what I should do in my relationship? She's more than likely going to tell me something detrimental to my relationship because she wants to bone. Or just wants someone to be single and miserable with her(Not saying all single people are miserable.......yes I am.) Also, how is your significant other supposed to feel? I for one know damn sure I don't want my girl going to any of those lame ass dudes she calls friends for advice. Half the time they're telling her to leave me and she didn't ask them anything.

Soooo, is it wise to ask people of the opposite sex for advice on matters of the heart and the loins? Why or why not? SPEAK!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

40 year old virgin

 
40_year_old_virgin.jpg

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Everyone loves that movie. It was good, but not that damn good. Just Tha King's opinion. Moving on...Tha King applauds all those people who chose to save themselves for marriage or because of their faith or whatever other reason. If it's good for you than do it. Tha King thinks its a noble undertaking cause you know damn well you wanna do it. Tha King does have a bone to pick however, and its with people....more specifically women, who lie and say that they are virgins and that they are saving themselves when they just had their knees at their shoulders for some dude the night before. Why lie about it? Its a natural part of life people. Besides, 9 times out of 10 a dude can tell if your lying. Girls that really are virgins aren't screaming "I'M A VIRGIN" from the rooftops. This girl I used to date in high school used to swear up and down that she was a virgin, which in turn made Tha King look like a liar because I had told my friends that I was laying the pipe on the regular(I was young). Problems like this can be avoided if you just admit that your f*ckin. Do you think guys really want a virgin? Negative, what we want is a person who hasn't been around the block more than the mailman, not a virgin. A virgin isn't gonna be a freak in bed. We like freaks, (borat voice) they're nice!(borat voice).
 
Now, this isn't the only problem involving virgins that I have. My other problem is the exact opposite. Dudes who ARE virgins front like they're slinging pipe all about the place. If your in high school this is cool, but as a grown man, your a loser. People would have more respect for you if you just told the truth. Again, 9 times out of 10 people can tell. As always; Tha King has a story,
 
My homie, Everybody Hate Chris. Good looking dude, perfectly able of getting females. Dude goes on and on about how he's fu*k ed big chicks, small chicks, short chicks, bald chicks. On many occasions he's told the crew stories of his escapades. Only problem is...WE DON'T BELIEVE YOU, you need more people. Now in this particular case, there has to be some reason why he's not fu*kin, but we can never get to that reason because dude swears he's swimming in pussy. Tha King has tried to grant him immunity and the opportunity to come clean so that I can help him, no dice. I can't help someone who doesn't want to helped, so I guess EBHC will keep spending his nights having threesomes with Handgela and Palmela.
 
Do you guys know anyone who lies about being or not being a virgin? Do people believe them? Have you told them you know their lying or do you plan to?  Tha King will leave you with one last nugget of wisdom: Don't lie on you genitals people. It makes you look stupid.
 
  


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Thursday, September 17, 2009

MY BABY DADDY

 quarterback Vince Young ...
This topic was so clutch cause Tha King had nothing to talk about today. While at work Tha King came across this story; So I'm sure you all remember hearing about Steve Mcnair, the NFL player who was killed only July 4th by his girlfriend who then killed herself. It was a pretty tragic story, especailly because the man had two sons. Well apparently, McNair's teammate and fellow QB Vince Young has been filling in as Dad where ever possible. This week he surprised the boys by showing up at their school for "Bring your dad to school day."
Black men are always getting thrown under the bus for not being there for their children. Well here's a black man who is there for someone else's kids.
 
It takes a hell of a man to raise another man's kids. Personally, Tha King would have to do alot of soul searching if he were put in that situation. This is the reason Tha King has never dated anyone with children, but the reality is more and more woman are having kids and are single. So this is a situation that alot of dudes are gonna have to deal with. I was at my nephew's football game last weekend(background: my brother and my nephew's mother are no longer together.) His mother's boyfriend was there, just as excitied as if it were his child. Homeboy even skipped HIS nephew's football game to be at my nephews. No thats some shit right there.
 
Anyways, keeping it short today. For the ladies with kids, are some dudes turned off by the fact that your a mother? Dudes, do you date women with children?



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Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Like fine wine.....

EURweb.com - MORGAN FREEMAN ...

 
Well! Its been an interesting weekend to say the least. Football, Tennis, concerts, award shows. While most of the blog world is talking about Kanye West Tha King decided that he gets enough free pub and I won't be adding to it.(Even though I guess I just did by saying his name, damnit!)By far the biggest news of the weekend however was Tha King's nephew in his football debut. He's a star in the making, just like his uncle.

As always one of Tha King's loyal subjects has come searching for guidance. We'll call her Stony Brook. Stony Brook is a young lady who when dating prefers that the male be older than her. Not an unusual occurrence. Lately she has been unsatisfied with these older men because they have exhibited the same immaturity that guys her age show. In her words. They play the same games. Stony Brook says that it defeats the purpose of dating older men. Tha King is confused. Is that the purpose? Maturity? Ha! Tha King is amused.

Tha King would to make all women clear, the notion that a man stops playing games as he gets older is false. If you play games you play games for life, unless life experiences have made you see the light. The reason you think older men don't play games is because they have perfected their game to the point that you can't see it. OG's is what they're called in these parts. From Tha King's perspective, there are only three valid reasons for women to date older men exclusively;

- Financial Stability: This doesn't matter to many women and its quite possible that you can find a younger dude who is, but more than likely a guy in his late's 20, early 30's and older is probably more stable than an 18-24 year old. Also they know he's gonna kick the bucket soon and all that money will be yours.

-Situational Convenience; Older men are more likely to have children, be married or in a serious relationship. This means if you just want part-time pipe will provide without acting clingy or catching feelings, hopefully.

-Compensation; My daddy wasn't there so now your gonna take his place, most common reason. No chick is gonna bring a dude the same age as her dad around her dad. Not a good idea.
 
For the women that date or prefer to date older men, what are you reasons? For the women that date your age we wanna know you reasoning as well. Guys, are you tired of seeing women your age with these old bastards? Do you feel you can offer everything an older man can or more?  


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Friday, September 11, 2009

I PUT ON FOR MY CITY


When in the course of human events....people like to talk shit when it isn't necessary, Tha King feels it is his duty to step in and defend his home land. Tha King is a King of many things, one of which being Tha King of New York(One of them)As a King of NY I feel that when someone starts talking unwarranted shit about my city I need to respond. Let Hov handle the rappers, I'll handle the bloggers. Which is what I'm doing today. A post was made on a blog today that I took exception to. Not only because of it's horribly bad timing, but also the amount of NY hate that is in it. So here it is, Below I've included the link to the aforementioned blog and Tha King's response, which I also left on the blog. You may notice that this writer also refers to himself in the 3rd person from time to time, this is purely coincidental;


http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/the-si-most-overhyped-and-overrated-things-about-new-york-city/

THA KING'S RESPONSE;
Alas, I knew this day would come. I have been a silent admirer of the VSB, more
specifically The Champ(Panama be on some next ish), for sometime now. Up until this point I've agreed and with most of the thoughts expressed but a line a been crossed.A New York hate post? I thought you were above that. Instead of reciprocation of the hate I will respectfully respond 5 of your arguments(we hate Rudy as much as everyone else, no argument there)

1. What separates The Notorious B.I.G. from Big Pun is the same thing that separates Jordan from Kobe, he came first. To the masses, who love to unfairly compare everything, Big Pun is just a Latin Biggie, which solidifies his place in hip hop mediocrity.If Pun came first, Big would be the fat black guy trying to be like Pun. Oh, and for the record, Tupac was the more popular and transcendent, but not the better rapper.

2. The Hill district? For Starters, New York was the largest and most well know receivers of Blacks during our migration from the southern states. Black's didn't start moving to Pittsburgh until a decade later. which is why the Harlem renaissance took place in the 20's and the renaissance in the Hill's started in the 30's. If that's not enough for you, I don't recall Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy starring in "Hill Nights"

3. New Rule; If the greatest basketball player of all time was born there. The best players in the world spend their summers there perfecting their game on it's playgrounds and the best player in the NBA today wants to play here despite the fact that the team is terrible, you are the Mecca of Basketball. That's why every spring your beloved Panthers travel to MSG to play in the Big East tournament. Futhermore, If I take 5 kids from 5 courts in New York I'm willing to bet money they can bust the asses of 5 kids from any other major city.

4. Like I said, on argument about Rudy, but the world rat population out numbers the
world human population. So don't say it's just New York.

5. Your absolutely right, New Yorker's are no more proud than any other people from any other city. The only difference is we don't talk shit about other places, we simply go on(at length) about how great our city is. When have you ever seen a “6 overrated things about (insert city here)” On a blog by a New Yorker?

6. This last one is pretty irrelevant. If the Taliban knew the significance of New York why don't you? They don't call it the capital of the world for nothing.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Lets Work!

I trust everyone had a good Labor Day weekend. Tha King personally loves the short week after a long weekend. It'll be Friday before you know it people! Hang in there. I was listening to the radio over weekend (24 hour mixes, another thing I love about holidays) and they were discussing a pretty funny and very relevant topic. It's funny that they chose Labor day to talk about women not putting in work....in the bedroom. Men's sex game or lack thereof is frequently discussed but rarely do we shine the light on women. It's largely because men are so thirsty for the box that when they get some they're so happy they don't even realize the females sub par sex game. Tha King however is not in drought these days and can now look back on past girlfriends and flings that need to step their game up.


The biggest problem plaguing most women's sex game is what I like to call the starfish effect. This is a big problem with very attractive women who seem think that their attractiveness is enough and the sack and that all they have to do this lie there, much like a starfish.

You get the picture. This is unacceptable. Pu$$y is great, but not dead pu$$y. You gotta work it out, twist it stretch it out bend it, whatever it takes to get the job done. One big thing about sex for guys is perception. You gotta make us think we're tearing it up, even if we aren't.
This brings me to the biggest problem with the females sex game. Oral Sex. I can't think of one female that when asked said they had a sub par or even average head game. The sad truth is, most of them do. If your walking around thinking that your head game is crazy because you do it just like the girls in pornos you need to wake up and smell the spermicide(I know, it was corny, just work with me here.) That's not what guys want. Again it has alot to do with perception. The girls that give the best head are the ones that enjoy doing it, so if you like giving head ACT LIKE IT. If you don't, act like it anyway! Tha King isn't gonna go any further into effective head giving but anyone is in need of tips feel free to contact me. Other common things that plague the female sex game is wack riding and lack of flexibility, any one of these things can really ruin a night of love making.
Ok. Be honest ladies, are you a starfish? Is your head game slacking? Is there anything else you need to work on to get your bedroom game up to par? If so why the hell aren't you doing it? You would want your man to work on his game would you not? Fellas what else do you feel women need to work on?

Friday, September 04, 2009

Red Handed

Turn off the lights......
Light a candle........
That's the only two lines Tha King knows to that Teddy Pendergrass song but we all know what's about to go down. Sex is a beautiful thing.(Sex between two consenting, protected, adults.) Its supposed to be the most intimate moment between you and your significant other. That being said, there is one thing that can ruin your moment in the blink of an eye, other than female menstruation and erectile disorder........Another Mofo busting in on your lovin!

Siblings, Parents, roommates, your other lover, no matter who the intruder your f-session is screwed, and you could be in some pretty hot water. Very rarely can you actually go back to love making once you get caught.(Unless you have a brother like my girl who actually turned around and left the house when he caught us going at it) Despite the embarrassment of being walked in on. It is nothing compared to what it must feel like when your caught "servicing" you self.

For those of you that have never been walked in on. Kiss my ass, you lucky bastards. Don't worry, your day will come. Its a right of passage as a sexually active adult. So here we go people; share you funny getting caught stories. Have a good holiday people. Let's make some more walk-in moments!

*Disclaimer; Tha King advocates safe and responsible sex. Use protection, get tested, and most of all use good judgment.
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Wednesday, September 02, 2009

The Naked Truth.

Summer is drawing to a close, it seems like they get shorter every year. For Tha King this has been a forgettable summer, hopefully next year will make up provided I make it that long. As you may or may not have noticed most of the topics that Tha King chooses to discuss come directly from the lives of the people close to me. Rarely do I speak about my personal affairs. I'm a very private person believe it or not. I've had this topic in my head for sometime but because it's so relevant in my personal life I didn't want to touch on it. There is a possibility that reading this or your responses could influence the person Tha King cares for the most.(So keep that in mind when responding people) I'm taking a risk, but isn't that what a King would do?

As most of you know from previous posts, Tha King is currently in a serious committed relationship with someone that he loves very much. we'll call her......Cast away(Get it babe?) As of today Cast Away and Tha King have been an item for 21 months by far the Tha King's longest relationship. Tha King was out sewing his royal oats before he met her. So needless to say being in a real relationship was new to Tha King.

Everything was smooth sailing until one summer afternoon while Tha King was in the shower, Cast Away decided to look through the pictures in my blackberry. In doing so she came across some explicit pictures of other females. All hell broke loose.

Cast Away immediately kicked my ass out. Thinking it was a wrap for me Tha King began working on his jab for when Cast Away sent her brothers after me. Luckily after letting her cool off for a few minutes, Tha King was granted re-entry to explain himself. Honestly I didn't think it was such a big deal, some chick sent pics of herself butt ass naked, I thought it similar to having porn. Especially since the girl didn't even live here. Cast Away thought otherwise, she was extremely hurt by the whole situation. Another reason I refer to myself as "Tha King" is because I'm am a King in her eyes and she treats me as such, but now I was in the dog house.

So the question is, given the situation how bad is it to have nasty pictures of friends,ex's, whoever in your phone or computer? Is it considered cheating? Do females get these pictures from guys? Fellas if you see a pic of some dude with his meat out in your girl phone how would you react?

Friday, August 28, 2009

The boy is mine (not mine like he's mine, it just a song title. sheesh.)


Thank God it's Friday, for reasons that Tha King does not wish to divulge, it's been a very trying week. It's over now though, and hopefully all will be merry in Tha Kingdom hence forth. When Tha King was a young lad it became painfully obvious to him that females, while the much fairer sex, tend to be the least logical. Blame it on the Estrogen. While it may seem a tad unfair to group the entire female population of the Human race in this category but if the shoe fits.... The only exception would be Tha King's mother. If she were a superhero her name would be common sense. His entire life Tha King has had to hear those dreadful words every step he took "That doesn't make any sense. No mother, what doesn't make any sense is the amount of times you say "That doesn't make any sense" In one day. Tha King's mother has nothing to do with Today's topic but he just needed to vent.


So yesterday Tha King was yapping it up on BBM like he always does when his home girl hit him up with another female sob story cause by the actions of some dude. Tha King never asked or claimed to be the Black Dr. Phil but he doesn't hesitate to drop some knowledge on someone. So this girl, I'll call her Fulton street. Fulton street was very upset because she just discovered that the young man she thought would be her next Boyfriend lied about his relationship status when they 1st met. Of course, she thought he was trying to be a G but he explained to her that he didn't feel that he and his girl had a future but he didn't wanna break it of until he was sure Fulton street was serious. She claimed this to be emotional cheating and wrote him off as a snake. Tha rarely comes to the defense of the next man but this particular situation was close to home for Tha King because he had done the same when getting to know his current girlfriend, Woodrow.

Is this really considered cheating? My situation was slightly different because my ex was away at school. It wasn't like were going on dates or anything. Tha King's reasoning is; This is merely protecting my emotional, social and physical interests. Why would I jump the gun and break up with my current girlfriend when I'm just getting to know the new one. She could very well be mentally unstable I'd be left with no pus- uhhh, no one to spend time with. Do you quit your job just because you got a job interview for a better job? No, you wait til you hired, the same rule applies here. You can call it selfish, I call it rational.

I'm sure the ladies are itching to disagree with me so I dare one of you to disprove my logical. I DARE YOU!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

A New Age

Fictional MySpace Profiles - The Fun Way To Use Myspace

Tha King likes to consider himself a tech-savy person. He has an facebook, had a myspace even though I don't remember the password, AIM and the whole shabang. I was in high school when texting became all the rage, most of the communication in my relationships has been centered around text. I say all that to say Tha King is pretty much on the cusp of all the new shit. 

That being said, the whole idea of  E-dating, or I-Dating or whatever is insane to me. Not just the dating part, its the idea that you could possibly find out more about a person by viewing their twitter page than speaking to them. While I'm at work I have a habit of adding random people to my BBM contact list and just talking about whatever. So I added a few people yesterday; A dude from Maine who loved football so we yapped about Brett Farve's ole indecisive country ass, and a girl from Houston. Instead of the normal "hi" I receive from people when I add them she asks me if I've seen her web page. When I told her I hadn't she seemed to think it was odd that I added her without having been to her page to get to know her. Is Tha King mistaken or isn't the point of the conversation to get to know someone?

I wasn't really interested in knowing about her in the first place, I just felt like having a conversation. I guess that makes me old-fashioned, I was under the impression that you get to know someone through conversation, not viewing by their facebook page. That's not a true representation of a person, that's what the person wants you to see. I'm sure we all have something that isn't true on our page. Have we become so technological that we no long have the need for regular human contact, like speaking? Have any of you every dated, hooked up, whatever with someone you met online? Where they anything like the person you thought they would be?

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Monday, August 24, 2009

He's Grrrrrreat!

Switchin it up on yall today. One of the jobs of Tha King is put his people on. So today I'm Streve Nashin(that means passing) it off to my boy, Alexander The Great, so he can drop some of his very own knowledge. He's thinking about starting his own blog so if you like his stuff please let him know on the comments. We will be back to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow. Peace Kids;

People and their ways.

We all have out own ways about how we are, how we do things, how we like things to be done etc., but, at some point, dealing with other humans, who in turn possess their own idiosyncrasies, is it not "right" or "sensible" to, not so much CHANGE, but adapt and make some sort of compromise with your "ways" in order to function with other people that have their own "ways"?

Take that in for a second.

Are we, who should be accepted for all our differences and similarities, supposed to alter our behaviours in order to facilitate others? The answer is an obvious yes to me. I know that females or males that try to "change" their partners are looked down upon, and the reason people have for frowning upon that is because they feel that people should be accepted for who they. However, change is something you do until you die. We all learn from everything in life, and that learning makes us change things about ourselves.

I have a friend who is stuck in his ways and we were chillin' with another two people who were brothers. These brothers know how to function around each other. Also, its apparent that they adjust their ways to facilitate others. So my friend does things that the two brothers aren't used to and confrontation occurs.

My question, people, is this: should we, the people, never change our ways, or should we adjust to situations? I think the answer is obvious. Tell me otherwise.

The Great.


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Wednesday, August 19, 2009

You get what you put out.

ModelMayhem.com - Tea Jett - Model - New York , US

Sheeesh, Ok ok. Tha King has been getting cursed out all weekend for his not posting the past few days. While it went in one ear and out the other Tha King did decide that he needed to get back in the game.( Which was easier said than done cause I couldn't think of shit to write, it happens.)

Luckily my friend provided me with an excellent topic.This is sure to upset some of the female readers but I've never been one to hold back my opinion.He has been telling me about an altercation his boy had at the club recently. Apparently his boy is one of those bold ass Negros that likes to say things to women as the walk down the street. So dude is in the club and he approaches a young lady in tight dress, the ones that come right below the ass and have their tits all free. He leaned down and told her that her ass looked nice in the dress she was wearing. Of course she got offended and made a big scene, going on about how she was lady and she was not to be spoken to like that.

The thing that most women fail to realize is, when you dress with your ass and titties out your going to attract a certain type of attention. Dudes are not gonna come up to wanting to know about what your studying in school when your wearing pum pum shorts. They're gonna wanna know if your trying to take it from the back tonight. People adDRESS you according to the way you are DRESSed. Think about it. If you just got robbed and you see someone one the corner dressed like a cop, your going to approach them as if they were a cop correct? So naturally, when you dress in a highly sexual way your going to get addressed in that way. Don't give me the bullshit "I picked it because it looked nice, not because it was sexy." When your trying on one of those tight dresses your not thinking "Wow, this is a really nicely made dress." Your thinking "Wow, this dress makes my ass look really nice." We agree, so don't get offended if we say so. That doesn't mean that you're supposed to tolerate someone calling you a hoe, or a slut, but if your tits are out, someone might just say something about them This isn't meant to make women stop dressing the way they do, please, that's the last thing Tha King wants, just be prepared for the type of attention you do get.


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