Tuesday, October 09, 2012

The winds of change.

For those of you who have been wondering why there has been no activity on the blog in sometime. It's because I had to move over to wordpress(long story) 

The new address to the Blog is Regal Thoughts. They're will be a lot of new content on this version of the site. I'll be showing my artistic side a little more. Thanks to all the people who have been reading and replying and I hope you enjoy the new blog! 

Thursday, May 10, 2012

A Few Good Men

It's become fairly obvious that I know far more women than I do men. It's a gift and a curse. On one hand I gain valuable insight into the mind of a female, I know how they think, what they like. I'm well taken care of and some of them are just really nice to look at. On the other hand...you b*tches is crazy! (Before I continue I would like to make it clear that I mean no disrespect when I use the term "bitch". For more understanding about my use of the word, please watch this..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmpeTZ9B7rk&feature=youtube_gdata_player) This isn't a female bashing post though, well in a way it is, but not blatantly.  Today I would like to talk about my frustration with one of the most commonly asked questions by women. "WHY AREN'T THERE ANY GOOD MEN OUT THERE,"?

Before I proceed with my actual response, I'd like to pose this question to the women of the world; Where the f*ck is "there,?!". In your city? State? At your school? In the clubs/ lounges/ bars that you go to? Perhaps you need to stop meeting dudes during happy hour at the same damn place you go to every week. Just a suggestion, on to the realness.....

I have good news and bad news ladies. The news is that your absolutely right. There are no "good" men out there. The bad news is, its your fault. for two reasons;

1. You don't know what a good man is; "Good" is a subjective word. I think Pootie Tang was a GOOD movie. My mother thinks it's absolutely ridiculous. Kakey thinks she gives GOOD head, Pinky and Super head would say otherwise. Your idea of good is based on your expectations, which are influenced by Disney movies, Usher Albums and Brown Sugar, none of which are reality. To find a good man you need to adjust your expectations of a what a good man is. A large majority of women's "good man" is in actuality a perfect man, and a perfect man does not exist. That doesn't mean you have to settle for someone your unhappy with, it just means you need to re-prioritize what your looking for and what your willing to look past.

2. Your enabling men to be the pieces of shit you complain about. One of the fundamental differences between men and women is that women don't choose mates based on the person they see before them. Women choose based on potential. They see what a man COULD become and that's why they mess with him despite the fact the presently he's a freaking bum. Most men gauge their self worth on the quality of women they deal with. You know he was a loser when you met him, but he was 6'2" and has a big dick so you fuck with him. thinking you'll inspire him to better himself....but why should he better himself for you? The one that fucked him when he was a loser? If he starts to better himself he's going to start to think he needs a better woman, be it better looking, a bigger freak, more successful. What's the point of building an army if your just going to stay on the land you already have? Men want to conquer. The solution? Stop dating losers and thinking your love will cause them to spread their wings and fly, it ain't happening.

*Disclaimer* These statements don't apply to all women or men. Just going off what I've seen and been told.

Friday, April 27, 2012

War of the Roses

*Disclaimer; This is in no way making fun or being critical of overweight ppl, hell I'm overweight. It's merely a commentary on what I observe and believe to be true. You may observe something completely different and that's fine, this isn't your damn blog.
Despite what some people like to believe, Men and Women are not equal. We live in a society full of double standards and hypocrisy in regards to gender, race, age, etc. Today I'd like to talk about one of the those double standards that seems to be oft misrepresented. Approximately 30.6% of the United States population is considered obese, this is the highest % of any country in the world. This blog is not Americans and our fat ass habits though. The question today; Is obesity more accepted amongst Males or Females?
Social media sites(in 2012 the best barometer of what is going on in society.) are flooded with Big Girl empowering pictures, articles and slogans.
"Real men like curves"
"Big girls do it better"
As I'm typing this I did a quick Google search of "Big Girls" and came across two blog posts entitled "6 reasons why you should date a fat girl." and "Are Big girls better in bed?".
Go to the mall. There's Ashley Stewart, The Avenue, Lane Bryant, all stores that sell plus sized clothes for women. All designed to make sure plus sized women don't miss out on the opportunity to be fashionable.

What do we have for Big men?....I'll wait....
Big and Tall man stores?? (Who's clothes suck by the way.) While brands like the gap and Ralph Lauren do sell larger sizes, they must be ordered online and the styles are still limited at best.

When it comes to dating and relationships, big men get the short end of the stick as well. Men, largely because of your our unquenchable blood thirst for vagina, are accepting of women of all sizes. As long you as have big boobs and a fat ass there are guys that will go after you. "More cushion of the pushin."Women on the other hand, not all but a good enough amount, are extremely particular when it comes to the physical features of their mates. Love handles and a gut are not to popular features. Ladies, honestly speaking, how many times have you dismissed a guy because he had man-boobs?(Trust me, I know). Big women are generally comfortable with their sexuality, that's why its not unlikely to see one in lingerie and sexy undergarments just like the sz 2 girls. I have yet to see, nor do I care to, a big ass dude w/ leopard print Speedos on.(shutters). Big women boast about the men they attract almost as much as "Skinny Bitches", they frequent the clubs and get hit on by waves of men. They have empowering club anthems. Meanwhile, Big dudes are avoided like the plague when in the club, at least it would seem that way if you look at how women act towards them. That is, unless they've got money. Green has a very...slimming effect on men.

When observing people in their social circles it is also evident that the men have a tougher time in society. While they may say mean or hurtful things behind a woman's back, a big girl's female friends are generally supportive of her appearance. They constantly encourage her, telling her she's sexy. They rarely question her eating habits unless it becomes particularly destructive. When she decides she wants to lose weight, they are supportive then too.

Men on the other hand are relentless with the fat jokes, pranks etc. Even between friends, calling a woman a fat ass is a sin. Men on the other hand are quick to drop the fat bomb in regards to one of his boys for a quick laugh. We will tear down an ridicule a friend(unknowingly of course, there are rarely malicious intent.)
We do have some redeeming qualities though. One good thing about males is that they are very supportive of an overweight friend who is looking to lose.

Botton line is, the plight of the big man is overlooked. "Big boys need love too,".
Do you agree? Disagree?

Thursday, January 05, 2012

I need a girl (5 reasons why your single, the male version)

Happy New Year, I hope you all had a happy and healthy holiday. Lets make 2012 the best year ever. Looking forward. I know alot of young men are steadly paying off the massive credit card bills they racked up during the holidays just to turn around and swipe those cards again for V-day next month. The price we pay for the ones we love. In all actuallty it's better than the alternative. Although most men would never admit it, being single this time of year SUCKS. Most men have only themselves to blame for their lonely, jergens filled nights. The ratio of women to men in this country is 4:1, if you can't find a women than it's probably more you than anything else. That being said, here's part 2 of the 5 reasons that as is still single. Part 1 focused on the ladies, now it's time to show the guys some love.

5. Your a bitch; Women are looking for a MAN. Not a metrosexual sissy that drinks white wine and loves to cuddle while watching The Notebook. I hear women constantly say that they want to feel protected. How are you going to protect your woman when your jeans are just as tight as hers? This is becoming a bigger and bigger issue with today's men. It's ok to be in touch with your sensitive side, but if that's your ONLY side than you need to pull your pants down, locate your sack and start stop acting like you have a placenta.

4.You have no ambition; Wale named his album Ambition for a reason. Yes, It's quite an accomplishment that your ranked top 30 in the world in the new Call of Duty. You should be very proud that you won your fantasy football league the last 3 seasons, but the harsh reality is; that isn't gonna get you any ass. Like I said in the last post women can smell ambition. Which also means, they know if you ain't about ish. The prospect of having to support your x-box playing, papa johns pizza eating, "aspiring" rapper ass is not attractive at all to a woman.

3. Your a cheater; Of course women cheat just as much as men. So why is it only on the list for men? Because women are (for the most part) smart enough not to date someone that they know is a cheater. Men are so stupid that they think it won't happen to them, or that they can change a cheaters ways. Word to the wise guys, the only think that will stop a cheater from cheating is themselves. Women (again for the most part) respect the boundaries of a relationship and will therefore not pursue a taken man,

2. Your Broke; Broke of course is a relative thing. You don't have to be pushing a BMW or Range Rover( although they would help...). As long as your making an honest living, your able to pay your bills and occasionally take a female to a nice resturant or buy her a nice gift for the holidays. The broke we're talking about is the dudes that have to get their phone in their momma name, then have to borrow money from their baby mama to pay the bill, all the while going to the strip club 3 times a week and making it drizzle on some chick named Caramel .

1.Your Crazy; Lets face it, there are dudes out that are straight bonkers. Men don't handle their emotions as well as females to, so negative feelings such as jealousy, fear and sadness often manifest themselves in the form of crazy ass actions. Fellas check yourself, calling someone 20 times a day, showing up unannounced at one's job/home, following them around, these things are not cool and will not make a woman want to be with you. Tat your name so you know its real? More like tat my name so I know you crazy. Of course if the woman is crazy too then she probably likes that kind of stuff. In which case you two can live on in lunatic love. Dat shit cray!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Back at it...

Allow me to re-introduce myself....I am Tha King. I'd like to welcome you back, welcome some of you for the first time to this here blog. It's been a good six months since my last post. Life has a way of makig you forget about your creative outlets. I've heard you calling(Texting rather cause I don't answer my phone). I appreciate the people who have been inquring about the status of the blog, it lets me know that people really do read, at the end of the day I write for people to read.

I have to admit, coming up with topics has been rather diffcult lately. I haven't cared enough about any one topic to give it the thought it takes to post about it. Today's topic is actually a topic I got off a social networking site. A young lady made a video blog entitled "The 5 reasons your're still single". It was cute, flawed but cute. She recieved quite a bit of negative feedback regarding her reasons. I'll admit, one or two of them were a little dumb (Sorry Hun, thems the breaks). The others made pretty good sense to me. All in all I was confident that I could have come up with a better list. So here we are, right in the middle of cuffing season, The 5 Reasons Your Ass Is Still Single. Today we're dealing solely with the women, it would be foolish to think that men and women would have exactly the same reasons. Fellas you'll have to wait until tommorrow.

5. Baggage; Not the Lou Vutton kind either. The kind that makes you seem like your crazy. Women have a tendency to bring alot of issues from past relationships with them into new ones. You can't punish new men for the things old men did to you. I know this may sound harsh but GET OVER IT

4. Your standards are unreasonable; I understand that you made up a this dream mate in your Barbie playhouse when your six. The keyword in that last sentence was DREAM. Many women have these outrightgeous standards that, if the tables were turned, they could not live up to themselves. Why is it that your mate MUST make at least 50k? Is it to offset the fact that you have no job? Is the reason that your demanding a man built like Reggie Bush to motivate your fat ass to get back into the gym? Standards go both ways. So if you not a model and you don't drive a benz, don't demand that you mate be.

3. why-dont-you-have-man-ill-tell-you-one

2.You don't do anythinng; I know, its 2011 and your an independent woman. You can do anything a man can do. That doesn't give you an excuse to not be able to do the things women do. To some degree, a man is looking for a woman to assume the roles that his mother had. Which means if your 26 and you can't fry an egg, we have a problem.You want to show a man you care? Clean his room while he's asleep, or have a hot plate waiting for him when he comes home.There is nothing you can say to a man that makes him feel the way he feels waking up to breakfast in bed.You want that old school love your parent/grandparents had? How much do you wanna bet Grandma was in the kitchen cooking a hot meal?

1. Your desperate; They say that women can smell a man's ambition. Well a man can smell a woman's desperation. Let me make this very clear; Men couldn't care less that your biological clock is ticking, we don't care about your plan to be married at 22, Kids by 25. No man wants to rushed into a long term committment, hell we get nervous when signing cell phone contracts.If your constantly bringing up marriage, children and things that involve the C-word you going to scare men away. There is more to life than procreation. Give us a reason to wanna marry you before you start talking about marriage.

Saturday, June 18, 2011


We as Americans are, amongst other things, big time hypocrites. We have a habit of holding people, especially famous people, to moral standards we don't even live up to ourselves. How could we be critical of someone for doing something that millions of people engage in. The newest target of the gross hypocrisy of the American public is congressman Anthony Weiner. By now I'm sure you've heard about congressman weiner sending pictures of his....weiner to different women and then attempting to hide it from the media. Before we continue, lets look at all the facts;

*Congressman Weiner sent semi and fully nude pictures to multiple women

*Congressman Weiner had been exchanging flirty texts and having phone sex w/ some of the women.
*Congressman Weiner is married

*Congressman Weiner originally tried to cover up the pictures

Which of these things has anything to do with the congressman's ability to perform in office? Why is it that for well known people, their professional lives are affected by everything they do in there personal lives? Are any of you being held responsible for those pics and texts you sent the other day by your employer? I didn't think so. By far the biggest Hypocrite in this situation is Hilliary Clinton. Congressman Weiner's wife works for Ms. Clinton, and upon hearing the allegations about Wenier, advised his wife that she should leave him. Is this not the same lady that stood by her husband while he was getting his *&%$ underneath his desk? Now she wants someone else to stand up for themselves when she didn't. C'mon son. The bottom line is this; Andrew Weiner was a good congressman, while he may have been a bit if a freak and a shitty husband, those weren't the reasons he was voted into office. Let his personal accomplishments stand for alone. Who know's? Maybe he would have help pass some freak friendly laws, and who doesn't love that?

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

Put that thing on that I like; 10 sexiest articles of female clothing.

I'm the first to admit that I spend a hell of a lot of time looking at women. It's a hereditary thing. My daddy does it, my granddaddy did, my brothers and me as well. That being said, I have my personal preferences on what I like to see women in. What your wearing is half of what attracts men. So before you ladies starting updating your summer wardrobe, check out my list of the 10 sexiest articles of female clothing; enjoy.

Fitted Jeans; Bobby Valentino knew what he was talking about. While alone they aren't the most sexy article of clothing and it's made from denim, which isn't a sexy fabric, once its' wrapped around the curves of the female lower body it is transformed. The ass and Hips take center stage in a pair of Jeans; Contrary to popular belief, the tightest pair of Jeans is not the sexist. Your Jeans should not look like your cutting the flow of blood to your leg. Having your entire crack exposed is also not sexy. A lil crack never hurt anyone though.

2 piece; I don't know about you, but when I'm beach or poolside I'm not checking for the chicks in the one-piece coveralls. 2 piece bathing suits are about as revealing as you can get without being butt ass naked. Nothing beats a lovely beach body rising out of the water, Dripping wet in a 2 piece...Gotta love the summertime.

Booty Shorts; Like fitted jeans, the emphasis with Booty Shorts( Pum Pum shorts for all my west Indians) is the booty. So, if your are severely lacking in the ass dept you may want to re-consider throwing on a pair. A flat ass in booty is like an empty box wrapped up under the tree for X-mas. We have it in your head that we're going to turn around an admire a glorious ass and then...nothing. When properly worn though, booty shorts can perfectly showcase an ample backside. Don't believe me? Take a trip to the west Indian, Puerto Rican or Dominican Parades in NY.

High Heels; It is a pre-requisite that a bad b*tch have a mean a show game.(That's shoes, not sneakers.) A woman in a good heel commands the attention of all within the sound if her heel click. Heels also make a women's legs appear more toned than they actually are, which is always a plus. A word of caution though, if you have horribly deformed toes, swollen ankles or have not learned the proper walk in heel, just face reality and throw on those flats.

Tights; Personally I think this should have been higher on the list. Tights make almost all who wear them seem deceptively fit and curvy, with depending on your point of view could be a negative or a positive thing. For gentlemen that prefer the hips, thighs and butt you really couldn't ask for anything better than a nice thick girl in a pair of tights. Tights are also a beautiful sight at them gym, many a times I've been given the motivation do finish my workout by running behind a female in a pair of tights. As before, a cautionary note; Tights and Panty Hose are NOT the same thing and therefore not interchangeable. oh and stick to the basic colors if your over 21. No one wants to see you running around in neon or metallic tights looking like a power ranger. Oh, and camel toes? Not sexy.

Skirts; Not the flowery ones that the little school girls wear. We're talking about the indecent proposal, flash you when they're sitting down skirts. The ones that have to be pulled down constantly while walking. Skirts are also easy access, not that anyone is going to be accessing anything...... The flowery, frilly is ok too, it all really comes down to how you wear them as does everything else on this list. One thing is absolutely necessary though ladies....LOTION

Bra; Nice Bra's are must for any woman that considers themselves sexy. Men like bras that help the breast defy gravity, or at least appear that why. If your bra is going to be visible in public the should be colorful and decorative. Think of the bra as sprinkles on a cupcake, it's not affecting the taste of the cupcake, just enhancing the look. Sports bra's are also sexy, provided your doing some type of activity that would require one, and no the club does not apply.

Club(Freakum dress) ; Regardless of what you may have thought, men go to the club for one purpose; To see women. Dance with them, grind on them, cop a few feels and maybe even bring one home. So when we're at the club we want to see women in the shortest tightest thing they could possibly fit into. A female in a good freakum dress that shows off all her curves is a gift from the heavens. A club full of women in skin tight dresses is toy r us for grown men. Of course, like everything else, some guidelines need to be set; If you gut is hanging out further than your breasts than you may want to consider getting a dress with a little more wiggle room.

Thong ; The Strippers weapon of choice. The thong, is the poster child for sex. Ladies, think about the last you were absolutely sure your were going to have sex. What did you wear? A thong no doubt. Men instantly associate a woman in a thong as a freak or a naughty girl. As a result, we excited whenever we see it. female in thong= fun times.

Sun Dress; Surprised? Don't be, The sundress is the perfect mix of elegant and revealing. There's is nothing better than a woman in a nice colorful sundress and sandals. Its a natural, seemingly effortless look. A sundress shows off all of a woman's assets without making her look like a tramp. You can show your girl off and then bring her home to your mama without her needing to change clothes. In addition to all that, they're easy to take off, which guys always appreciate.