The Magic Word

Happy Friday folks. This was passed on to me by a young woman who comes to my job from time to time. She is a psychology professor @ York College. So if anyone goes to that school and comes across a Professor Thompson, you can thank her personally.

There is no magic in the world. None, sorry to all you Harry Potter fans. The closest thing to magic in the world is the effect of the one magic word. What makes the magic word so magical? I'll tell you, but don't going telling everyone about the magic word. Only a few people were meant to know of its powers. Think about it, this word can be a noun, adjective, verb. It is understood by everyone all over the world. It has the power to bring joy to the hearts and faces of people, yet it can also be used as a weapon against your enemies.

What is the word you ask? Why it's FUCK of course.

Now I know your parents told you it was such a terrible word, they're wrong. Cancer is a terrible word. War is a terrible word, Tumor is a terrible word. Fuck? It's wonderful!

Don't believe me?

Try this experiment, call your significant other up right now on the phone. You can even send him/her a text. Tell them you've been thinking about fucking them, or that you can't wait to get home and fuck them. I guarantee It will bring smile to their face. Need more proof? The next time someone is pushing you to your limit, look them in the eye and say "FUCK YOU" You'll feel liberated! You can go across the globe and tell someone fuck you and they'll know what your talking about.

That's about it for today folks, short post but Tha King thinks you'll like it. Hey, if you don't then fuck you. Til next time.

8 Inventions that f*cked up the game for Men (in relation to women)

Happy Friday folks, Hopefully this weekend isn't as shitty as the last one in terms of the weather. Since it's the end of the week Tha King thought we should have a little fun today with another list. Like the title says today is 8 inventions that have severely fucked up the game for us dudes. It could be when trying to talk to a female, in the bedroom or whatever else. These are things that have made it that much easier for women to straight shut us down. Why 8? I couldn't think of 10, that's why! Now down to business:
 
 

1. The Cellphone; On the surface it may seem like the cell phone has increased our ability to communicate with the fairer sex. In reality, cellies have made it that much harder of us to speak to them. How many times have you seen a beautiful young lady that you want to kick it to, but there's only one problem. SHE'S ON THE FUCKING PHONE! it never fails, who is she talking to? Probably no one. She simply saw you looking and whipped out that phone to keep your ass away.
 

 
2. The Walkman; The walkman/discman has pretty much put all of us in our own musical bubble. We're completely disconnected from the world around us. In the case of men and women. They get walk by and act like they didn't hear us saying hi (or what's good ma? FYI, that never, ever works fellas. If it does, beware.)
 
 

3. The Text Message; Why specifically the text message? I'll tell you; Guys, close your eyes and spell "specifically" out loud.......I'll wait..........Didn't think so. YOUR ASS CAN'T SPELL. Tha King can't spell to save his life. I misspelled 6 words in this paragraph alone. Women like intelligent men, and you misspelling every other word isn't making you look very good. Thank the lord Blackberries have spell check.(Read the txt in the photo)
 

4. TiVo/DVR; Another invention that seems like it would benefit everyone. Wrong. While your using your DVR to make catch the football games you missed, guess what she is recording? Oprah, The Tyra show, and all those other "Men ain't shit talk shows." If not that than gossip girls or some show with the guy she wishes you would act like. Either way your fucked.
 

5. The B.O.B. (Battery Operated Boyfriend); This one is a killer. Lets face it, she keeps you around for two reasons. Dick, and to lift heavy objects. If she can go buy dick at the store, your left just lifting heavy shit. My friend told me the other day when she's angry at her boyfriend she lays next to him in the bed in whips out her rabbit. What kind of cruel and inhumane shit is that?
 
 

6. The iPod; Why the iPod AND the walkman you ask? The iPod added a new wrinkle in to the equation. Now, not only are you being ignored. If you are lucky enough to get her attention, you are now dealing with a woman angry from listening to her "I hate men" playlist. Ask your girl fellas, they have one. They play it every time you do some dumb shit.

7. The Text Message; Yes, I know its the same as number 3. I thought Of another way we get fucked by text messages. Looking in my phone right now, Tha King has every text I sent/received since september 30th. DELETE YOUR TEXTS, it doesn't even have to be something deceitful your trying to hide. You just may not want your significant other to know that your brother was making fun of you for wetting the bed until you were 12. Just an example.
 
8. Caller ID; Crippling the game. They actually have a device that can warn her that your annoying ass is calling? I bet a man invented this too. I'm sure he was thrilled when is wife started using it against him. Irony
 
 
Well that's the list. Next time you see one of these Items fellas I want you to stop and think of the last time it was used against you. For the ladies, are there any more I left out? Have a safe and happy weekend everyone.
 

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Guest Blog #2; Demon Ex by Ice0

 
 
Tha King loves this guest blog shit for two reasons; one, I get a day off from blogging and two, I get to pass the mic to a very deserving person who for whatever reason hasn't started their own blog, yet.

Today its my boy Ice0. One of the brightest cats I know. Tha King would even venture as far as to say he looks up to this dude.(Which is hard to do *snickers*) anyways, show him love like you would Tha King and I'll check you guys on the flipside. Get em Ice!

I was given a soap box and fifteen minutes of blog fame. I know tha King stated that this is not a relationship blog; however, the ex is a virus that may poison the sacredness of you and yours. In my travels I wonder what the hell is the point of keeping in contact with the ex. I mean for the simple fact that this person got the X on his or her forehead means that it didn't work. I know, I know X may have had some positive things that benefit you, but those same things make the present uncomfortable. At some point the ex crosses the line. Calls late or says something disrespectful and think nothing of it because that person already went the distance in some cases. Majority of the time in an X situation someone felt like they left unfinished business. Furthermore doesn't it leave that vulnerability door wide open for potential mistakes to happen. Don't get me wrong but when I say contact I mean consistent contact. I would think that its more confusing than anything. Your partner can't tell whether your in contact because friendship or festering feelings. Some say its insecurity and some say relationship etiquette. What do you think? This isn't written in stone there are some X factors that turn out to be cool, but do yall think this is right?

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The Things Your Man Won't Do.

Greetings people. trying develop a little consistency with the posts again, we'll see how long I can keep it up. Tha King is slightly perturbed about the damn Yankees losing but we couldn't expect them to win every game, we'll get them tonight. Like always, today's post comes from the fuckery I witness on a day to day basis. Sometimes it's at home, sometimes from my friends. This one one come from my place of employment, Tha King is the only male that work in his department. So aside from the monthly doses of attitude that I have to endure, I also hear alot of gossip. This weeks gossip? My co-worker, lets call her the Crasher, shes a terrible driver. Crasher is in her mid twenties, cute girl, we get along very well. She is currently in a very serious multi-year relationship with her boyfriend 360. They have been through a great deal in their relationship, including long distance, and the occasional trust issue.

Over the past year, Crasher has complained more and more frequently about 360 not handling his business in the bedroom, she doesn't complain about the quality, rather the quantity she's unhappy with. Crasher has a very strong sex drive and it seems 360 doesn't have one to match. He frequently rejects her sexual advances, telling her "later" or complaining that he's tired. Crasher says he shows his video games more attention than he does her. Needless to say Crasher is fed up. It has gotten to the point where crasher doesn't feel attractive anymore because her man doesn't want to hit it. She tried talking to him but it seems he's not understanding. Crasher suspects that the reason for his lack of energy is that he's been sleeping with another women.....or perhaps a man. She has always threatened to get her physical needs tended to else where but no one ever took her seriously, well it seems she wasn't bullshitting after all.

Tha King thinks this a pretty interesting situation. A relationship is supposed to be a sacred thing and you aren't supposed break that. One the other hand, Both parties in the relationship are supposed to handle their relationship responsibilities. Fellas that means when your girl wants the pipe, you give it to her. Your tired? Drink a redbull and handle your business. She's a woman she gets offered dick at least 5 times a day, yet she has promised to stick with your sorry ass. Now you gotta show and prove so she doesn't regret her decision. If a relationship is a contract, who broke it first? I can't decide so you guys get to pass judgement; Is Crashers reason for stepping out valid? Doesn't not handling your partners physical need give you the right to get your freak on somewhere else? Or is Crasher just a fast ass who would have made any excuse for fucking around. What say you?

Hateerr

 
I trust everyone had a safe and productive weekend. Tha King's weekend was bitter-sweet. Although they Yankees kicked ass, both the Jets and the Giants lost. This saddens Tha King, especially his beloved G-Men. We'll bounce back next week though. My weekend was also sleepless thanks to that damn movie Paranormal Activity. Tha King refuses to sleep with out a light on now. I had a whole weeks worth of Blog posts written out and ready to go, but sometimes things come up that need to be addressed. A warning to all of you people with short attention spans, this one may get a little lengthy. 
 
Tha King hates ignorance. It's completely unacceptable and unnecessary. The thing that pisses Tha King off the most about ignorant people is that they always feel the need to share their ignorant ass opinion. You know damn well what your mama told you about saying nice things. You can't tell an ignorant person anything, although I still try. Just yesterday I had a conversation(more like an argument) with this ignorant ass fool from a message board that I frequent. Instead of going on and on about what we were talking about, Tha King shall just provide some preface than let the convo speak for itself.
 
DISCLAIMER
-Yes, we rate women on a scale of 1-10. Don't ask me what your number is, I'm going to lie to you.
-Yes, we refer to some women as bitches(I just did it casue he did it, I'm sorry mama!)
-Yes, some of the pictures were topless. If they want to do their chicks dirty like that they can go right ahead. Watch who you send pictures to ladies.
 
 
It's a 3 person conversation, Myself (Tha King) Ignorant ass fool (Brandon) and Wade Wilson. Wade Wilson had posted some pictures of some of his lady friends for the viewing pleasure of the people on the message board. Everyone responded with pictures complimenting the females when here comes Mr Ignorant ass fool talking shit;
 
 ** Oct 18 Sun 22:48 **
Wade Wilson: Everyone ZZZZZzzzzz?
** Oct 18 Sun 22:50 **
Tha King: Nah, watching football.
** Oct 18 Sun 22:50 **
Wade Wilson: Bears game ??
** Oct 18 Sun 22:50 **
Tha King: Yessir
** Oct 18 Sun 22:51 **
Tha King: Yo wade where you find these spanish chicks? put me on.
** Oct 18 Sun 22:51 **
Wade Wilson: What kind?
** Oct 18 Sun 22:51 **
Wade Wilson: Dominica?
** Oct 18 Sun 22:51 **
Wade Wilson: Cuban mixed with puerto rican?
 
Enter Mr Ignorant.

** Oct 18 Sun 22:51 **
brandon: Bro that's the caliber of chicks u pull?
** Oct 18 Sun 22:51 **
Wade Wilson: That flavor is nice really really nice but crazy
** Oct 18 Sun 22:51 **
brandon: What's with all these NTrs(name of the message board) messing with fat girls
** Oct 18 Sun 22:51 **
brandon: Dumbfounded
** Oct 18 Sun 22:51 **
brandon: I do not talk to girls who weigh over 140
** Oct 18 Sun 22:53 **
Wade Wilson: How you know ? Pocket scale ?
** Oct 18 Sun 22:53 **
brandon: I ask every chick what her weight is
** Oct 18 Sun 22:53 **
brandon: If I'm talking to her
** Oct 18 Sun 22:53 **
brandon: And height
** Oct 18 Sun 22:54 **
Wade Wilson: They answer profoundly ?
** Oct 18 Sun 22:54 **
brandon: They're usually caught off guard
** Oct 18 Sun 22:54 **
brandon: Then I say its just a simple question
** Oct 18 Sun 22:54 **
brandon: And I get it out of them
 ** Oct 18 Sun 22:56 **
Tha King: My girl is over 140, she's also damn near 6 feet tall. It depends on who your dealing with
** Oct 18 Sun 22:56 **
brandon: I also woudnt fuck with a bitch over 6ft tall
** Oct 18 Sun 22:56 **
brandon: Cuz that's a man my brotha
** Oct 18 Sun 22:57 **
Tha King: That's your prerogative, that's also stupid reasoning, is a dude under 5'7" a female?
 brandon: That chick u posted with her boobs is easily pushing 160
** Oct 18 Sun 22:57 **
brandon: Probly 5'4
** Oct 18 Sun 22:59 **
Tha King: Your really hung up on weight.
** Oct 18 Sun 22:59 **
brandon: I'm just sayin
** Oct 18 Sun 22:59 **
 brandon: We'll all kno NTrs only pull dimes
** Oct 18 Sun 22:59 **
brandon: Yet all these pics I've seen were all of fat girls
** Oct 18 Sun 22:59 **
brandon: Excluding maybe one
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:02 **
brandon: Ur black tho if recall right
** Oct 18 Sun 23:02 **
brandon: Black guys generally like heavier chicks
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:05 **
Tha King: That's a lie
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:05 **
Tha King: But yes I am black
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:07 **
Tha King: And for perspective, I googled Beyonce's weight, she's btwn 130-160
** Oct 18 Sun 23:07 **
Tha King: U wouldn't smash?
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:07 **
brandon: 130-160 is a HUGE difference
** Oct 18 Sun 23:07 **
brandon: Nobody knows her real weight
** Oct 18 Sun 23:07 **
brandon: Its all speculation
** Oct 18 Sun 23:07 **
brandon: And beyonce is not heavy
** Oct 18 Sun 23:08 **
Tha King: Would u smash is the question
** Oct 18 Sun 23:08 **
brandon: Yes
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:08 **
Wade Wilson: Yes amen to that
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:08 **
brandon: She's probly 1 of 3 black chicks I'd smash in the world
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:08 **
brandon: That wildebeest is the best u cud pull?
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:10 **
Tha King: Smh, dudes need to broaden they horizons.
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:11 **
brandon: If I fucked all the fat/average chicks that I CUD have
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:11 **
brandon: My #'s wud be in the 100's
** Oct 18 Sun 23:11 **
brandon: Quality > quantity
** Oct 18 Sun 23:13 **
Tha King: Brandon let's see these dimes u speak of
** Oct 18 Sun 23:13 **
brandon: I've posted mad chicks in here already
** Oct 18 Sun 23:13 **
brandon: I never said dimes either
** Oct 18 Sun 23:15 **
Tha King: I must have missed them
** Oct 18 Sun 23:15 **
brandon: Hold up will put a few up
** Oct 18 Sun 23:15 **
brandon: Does that suffice
** Oct 18 Sun 23:20 **
Tha King: No faces?
** Oct 18 Sun 23:20 **
brandon: There's faces
** Oct 18 Sun 23:20 **
brandon: The body structure is more of the focus
** Oct 18 Sun 23:21 **
Wade Wilson: Their all white though ? White girls are easy
** Oct 18 Sun 23:21 **
brandon: They're also the hottest
** Oct 18 Sun 23:21 **
brandon: None of those girls are under a 7
** Oct 18 Sun 23:23 **
Tha King: Can't tell with no faces
** Oct 18 Sun 23:23 **
Tha King: The one face I see is a 6 at best
** Oct 18 Sun 23:23 **
brandon: On the floor?
** Oct 18 Sun 23:24 **
Tha King: 6.5 round to 7 if you like
** Oct 18 Sun 23:24 **
brandon: Bro she's a model who's been published in mags
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:25 **
Tha King: U never seen a ugly model?
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:25 **
Wade Wilson: White skeletons, nothing to look at
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:25 **
brandon: I never seen a model who's a 6 in a magazine, no
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:25 **
brandon: That fat mexican bitch showing her pancake titties and sausage fingers is no higher than a 4
** Oct 18 Sun 23:26 **
Tha King: Well you said chick on the floor was a 7 so no, I guess u haven't.
** Oct 18 Sun 23:26 **
brandon: I said none of the chicks are under a 7
** Oct 18 Sun 23:26 **
brandon: That girl is easily an 8
** Oct 18 Sun 23:28 **
Tha King: Your scale is drastically different than mine.
** Oct 18 Sun 23:28 **
brandon: he posted king kong bro
 ** Oct 18 Sun 23:29 **
brandon: Girls in general are supposed to be petite feminine and delicate
** Oct 18 Sun 23:29 **
brandon: Not sumthing that belongs confined in a cage
** Oct 18 Sun 23:32 **
Tha King: I think that bitch on the floor belongs in a cage. To each his own
** Oct 18 Sun 23:34 **
Tha King: I'll keep my monkeys, u keep ur crack heads
** Oct 18 Sun 23:35 **
Tha King: Stop being a hater, u don't like, don't say anything. Simple

 
Well, that was long as hell. Anyways, what reason is their for this type of foolishness? "I only talk to girls that weight 140?" How stupid do you sound? I have no tolerance for white boys that try to put down women of other races because it's not their preference, then when we turn the tables and do the same thing they get offended. Women of all shapes and sizes are beautiful. Society is too hung up on these Lindsy Lohan looking chicks and as a result, people think that's the way a "beautiful" woman is supposed to look. Tha King thinks Lindsy Lohan looks like she's sick. Tha King has his my preference of how a woman is supposed to look, but what do I have to gain from going around putting down women that don't look the way I like? The main point of this post is, keep your ignorant ass opinions to yourself, that goes for everyone. No one wants to hear your nonsense. That's all for today people. Peace.

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$ For The Love of Money $

Happy Friday people. It's gonna be a pretty shitty weekend weather wise but try to enjoy it. Although it may seem like it from time to time, this is not a "sex and relationship" blog. There are more than enough of those on the web. Some damn good ones too. I do tend to talk about topics pertaining to sex and relationships pretty often but that's because it just so much fun to discuss. Today though we're going to talk about something equally if not more fun than sex......MONEY. I love it, you love it, it makes the world go round, its the root of all evil, we've heard it all. This weeks events have lead me to ponder a question we've all asked ourselves, What would you do for money?

For those of you who don't know, the man pictured above is radio host, conservative political speaker and all around douche bag Rush Limbaugh. I don't want to go to in-depth on the magnitude of his douche bag-ness but I'm sure some people may not be familiar with him. He's one of the most popular figures in conservative white America, basically he's against everything that would a benefit a minority in this country, which is why a chose the picture that looks like he has a dick in his mouth. Mr. Limbaugh recently joined a group of rich mofo's who are interested in buying the St Louis Rams( that's football ladies). This became a bit of any issue because Limbaugh has mad countless racist statements during his time on air, one of which was directed at NFL superstar Donovan McNabb. Limbaugh claimed that McNabb was "overrated" and that the only reason he has kept his job is because the media is so thirsty to see a black Quarterback do well.

This didn't sit to well with McNabb and a bunch of other black NFL players. Many of them have come out and said they wouldn't play for a team that Limbaugh owned. Other players said that they don't care who owns the team as long as the checks are on time.

This got Tha King to thinking, does everyone/thing have a price? Someone asked me last week if I would let another man sleep with my girl for a million dollars, Tha King's answer was HELL NO! I don't want the money that bad. Is Tha King tripping? I would like to think my integrity is priceless, but a nigga got bills man. Would you compromise your morals for the right amount of money? Put your self in the shoes of the NFL players. Would you work for a racist/ sexist/ whatever else-ist? What wouldn't you do no matter what the amount? That's my time for today folks, check you later.

PS: LETS GO YANKEES!!!

Lets Talk About Sex ( I hate that song)

Back again people. Tha King really needs to get back on his grind as far as posting regularly. Gotta have shit to talk about though. I just need to find a balance between living life and writing about it. Before I get on with today's post I have a couple of things I must address. Ahem! 1st off. Tha King knows that a lot of people read this blog from their blackberry. Which means you may not be able to leave comments(which really does piss me off people, leave comments!) well, like any King would do, I have identified the problem and have come up with a solution. Well actually my home girl came up with it and I'm just taking credit for it. All you need to do is download the BOLT browser, its the best browser out for Blackberry so you need this in your life. You can download it at; http://boltbrowser.com/boltbb.jad


Now, on to Tha King's favorite topic, SEX. You know you like talking about it too so Tha King would appreciate it if you stop frontin. Before the freaks start getting too excited, nothing sexual is actually going to be discussed today. What Tha King wants to talk about today is why, in 2009, people are still uncomfortable talking about sex. You guys can't be serious, we're all doing it, (Except my friend from a couple posts ago.) So why not discuss it? Tha King likes to consider himself a sexual intellectual, I got that way by openly discussing sex with many different people. I was always able to go to my mother or older brother with a sexual question. Even on the rare occasions my P.O.S. father was around, he would speak openly about sex with my and my brother(maybe a little too openly, he's an old perv.)

Now I'm not saying you have to go out and put all of you business in the street, if you do that's your prerogative, but at least be able to discuss important topics. Most importantly, safe sex, STD's and things of that nature. If you can't talk about it with your friend, how are you gonna talk about it with your kids when the time comes? When a kid doesn't get this information from home he gets the information from other sources, sources which may not know shit them damn selves. The best thing in the world to have as a kid is an older sibling. Tha King has learned a great deal from his freak ass brother, although I'll never admit it to him. So if you have younger brothers or sisters, talk to them! Leave the pornos and the toys where they can find them. The worst thing in the world is for a kid to be learning from his friends, I hate being on the bus and hearing two boys talking about sex and giving each other wrong information, and it happens often. I feel like I'm crossing over into preachyville so I'll go on about my day.

Are you comfortable talking about sex with your peers? Your siblings? Parents? Children if you have them? What will you and won't you discuss?

Good Advice

It's been a long time, but Tha King has returned! I apologize for the absence and I have a very valid explanation for it........I just didn't feel like posting damnit! This is supposed to be fun/therapeutic for me. The minute it becomes a burden I stop, eventually the writer in me will come out again. I have been stockpiling ideas over the past few weeks, now all I have to do is try and remember them. I really need to start writing shit down.

Today, I'm going to throw myself under the bus, slightly.(Settle down all you Sha...uhhhh King haters. Its not that serious.) I'm going to throw myself under the bus in the sense that I'm going to criticize something that I admittedly do although I am trying to kick that habit. It's something that's especially stupid when your in a relationship, it annoys my girl to no end. What am I talking about? I'm talking about when a man/woman in need of advice, be it romantic or sexual, confide in someone of the opposite sex. Those of us that do it think it's perfectly logical and pretty damn smart. If I'm having a problem with my girl, why not ask the advice of another female? right? Wrong.

For starters you have to analyze the nature of the relationship you have with this person. Family doesn't apply because they're family and their motives are completely different. As for "friends" of the opposite sex, the bottom line is most of our friends of the opposite sex either want to bone us, we want to bone them or we've boned already. DON'T LIE PEOPLE!
As with everything in life they're are exceptions but if you think about it. Most of your friends of the opposite sex fall under one of the three ( co-workers and such don't apply here.)

So back to the topic at hand, why is it bad to ask these people for advice? They're bias. What business do I have asking a single females of the the same age group what I should do in my relationship? She's more than likely going to tell me something detrimental to my relationship because she wants to bone. Or just wants someone to be single and miserable with her(Not saying all single people are miserable.......yes I am.) Also, how is your significant other supposed to feel? I for one know damn sure I don't want my girl going to any of those lame ass dudes she calls friends for advice. Half the time they're telling her to leave me and she didn't ask them anything.

Soooo, is it wise to ask people of the opposite sex for advice on matters of the heart and the loins? Why or why not? SPEAK!