Well kiddies, summer is officially upon us, which means clubbing season is in full swing. Yes, I know what your thinking; "King, people party all year long."- This is true, but tha King no longer parties during the winter. I had a bad experience with a retarded coach check attendant, a club brawl and my 600 dollar North face coat.(Still pissed about that shit.) On a totally random note, I do enjoy the dumb hood rats freezing their asses off at the bus stop or trying to hail a cab because they thought they were so hot that they didn't need a coat in January. Back to the topic at hand.
I was just reading my favorite blog, other than my own, and they posted 13 rules that all club-goers should live by. It was quite amusing and true for the most part and I got me thinking about things that I like/dislike in the club. So without further adeu, I present to you; The 5 type of people I hate in the club.
1.The no-game bouncer: You are a 30 year old, balding, overweight goon who feels up men for a living. What makes you think that any of the females at the club are actually interested in you? The only chicks your going to bag are the ones that made up their mind that they were sleeping with the first person the showed the slightest bit of interest in them. All the other females smiling and batting their lashes at you? Just wanna use you to get into VIP or for a free drink.
2. The homothug bottle popper aka Mr Make it rain: Stop it, your not the life of the party cause you and your boys bought out the bar. Have you noticed that there are no women even paying attention you? Go ahead and keep making it rain, meanwhile the collection agency is putting a freeze on your funds in the bank. Asshole.
3.Mr./Mrs. I'm to fly to dance: let me 1st address the male. You paid anywhere in the range of 20-50 dollars to get in the club and for what? To stand on the wall? you could have did that outside the club for free. As for the female; BITCH YOU AIN'T THAT HOT! The only reason I came up to you is because someone else was dancing with girl I really wanted to dance with.
4. The facebook crew: I know my friend is going to be upset cause she knows I'm talking about her but oh well. Put the goddamn camera down. They only reason you came to the club was to take pictures as proof that you went to the club and put them on [Enter social networking site here]. Yes, that's me dancing next to you. I'm not trying to cop a feel, I'm trying to get close enough to break that damn camera.
5. Drunk chick: You've been drinking since before you got to the club and know your drunk ass can barely stand up straight, at least you were smart enough to bring you boyfriend because if it weren't for him playing watchdog the predators would be descending upon you like a cub that lost its pack. Stop waving that damn empty bottle of Moet and get a hold of yourself. At least you look good. There's nothing worse than a drunk ugly chick.
I thought the point of going to the club, was to have fun! If having a couple of drinks or Making it rain on some Hoes, is fun to the next person, then hey.
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