I turn my slide ONNNN!

I trust everyone had a good memorial day weekend. Tha King enjoyed his very much, BBQ, basketball, quality time with J-dub. What could be better? Sadly its back to work, short week though(fist pump).As I'm typing this my co-worker is telling me about her weekend of randomness with her Quasi-boyfriend. Her main concern was that she felt as if she was being treated like a slide/jump/pop/buss down- whatever you crazy kids are calling it these days.

The treatment of this type of female is the cause of much misunderstanding between men and women. Self-respecting women are always uptight about potential slide treatment they are receiving. Often times what women deem as slide treatment is not what a man would call it. So Tha King got to thinking who would one know they are being given the "slide treatment?" Here's a few sure fire signs;



1. You only receive calls after 10pm: If your not good enough for day time minutes then your a slide. There are only 2 things being talked about after 10, sex and crime.

2. You don't know where he lives: The exceptions to this rule would be, he's over 25 and lives with his mama or he lives in the projects and knows you Boigie ass wouldn't approve. Other than that your a pop.

3. Your the only on traveling: If your taking 3 trains 4buses and a ferry boat to see a dude and all your getting hard dick and bubblegum, guess what honey?
3.5 You never go out or only go out at night.: Popeye's and blockbuster is not a date,
its a *%$# session. And if he's rushing to get you home before the sun rises its not cause hes a vampire.

4. You've never seen him during that time of the month: Why would he come over? He's not getting the box so there's really no point.


Those are just a fell tell tale signs that you probably are a slide. Did I miss any important ones?

Home of the brave.

I was walking down 7th ave this morning and I observed something that moved me enough to write about it. A soldier who was obviously just returning from active duty or just about to depart. He was dressed head to toe in khaki camo gear and boots. As he walked by an office building a doorman simply raised his hand, saluted the solider and said "thank you" The solider, who was slightly surprised, returned the gesture and nodded his head. While this may seem like a random occurrence it touched me because I've aways want to go up to a solider myself. I'm very proud of all the military friends and family that I have. I even consider joining myself and a Chile. While I don't respect the war or wars in general, I think that soldiers should praised by everyone of us who chose not to or were not able to serve. While we read about the war and have our varied opinions on it, in a sense it still isn't really a reality yet. To them it is. soldiers live and the lives of their families have been affected more than anyone of us will ever know. You can argue that they chose to join but you can never fully comprehend all that war entails when your at that recruitment office. They gave their lives so that we can go on with our way of living and feel safe. So the next you see a military persons stop and say think you. It the least we could do for people who have done more for us than will ever know.

Get you numbers up...or down.

So you meet an attractive young lady and the vibe is good. You've chilled a fun times, long phone conversations, texting til the wee hours. Pretty soon the topic that's on both your minds is going to come up....... SEX. So your having the sex talk and your liking what your hearing and then you drop the bomb. The doomsday, make or break question that you must know the answer to; How many people have you "been" with.

This question is of great importance to guys because.....well I don't really know why honestly. Of course its natural for us to want to know if the girl we're interested in moonlights as the neighborhood nutbank but do you really think the number that she gives you is the truthful number of men/women shes had sex with? Sorry young lad, nine times out of 10 shes chopping the real number in half. What number are we looking for anyway? Is there a maxium number that if the female has surpassed they are now in the realm of whoredom? Is the two hands rule in effect here?

Tha King is 23 moons old. So lets say for arguments sake I would only date young ladies ages 20-25. Lets also say that the average person in this age group lost there virginity sometime in high school, we'll say 17. Since then they've had one long relationship (a year or more) and a bunch of short ones that didn't work out. Add in those 2 one nighters freshman year in college.(blame it on the....) So lets say the average girl in this age group has slept with 2 partners every year since they started having sex. (argue my logic if you want, you'd be wrong) So that means by 25 they have been with about 16 people. So is anything above 16 unacceptable? I know one thing, if my girl said she had been with 16 dudes when we had the sex talk I would probably be single right now. Just keeping it real.

So whats the deal people? Fellas how many is to many? are there exceptions? Ladies are you mindful of your number? Does a guys number matter? Discuss.

What goes up, must come down.

Karma; - noun. The Cosmic principle according to which each person is rewarded or punished in one incarnation according to that person's deeds in the previous incarnation.

Apparently Karma has grown rather impatient and no longer waits for your next incarnation. Hell it didn't even wait 10 minutes to bite me in the ass yesterday. Its Monday morning and I'm on the Van on my way to work, late as usual. As I'm getting off the van I notice a rather nice grey and blue umbrella with a wooden handle has been left on the seat by one of the other passengers. This umbrella is far nicer than the one currently in my possession. I take on final glance at my busted, yet perfectly functional umbrella, cast it off and reach for my new find. What could go wrong? Well for starters in the process of getting the umbrella I unconsciously place my bag down and left it on the van. The rain now begins to pick up. No problem, perfect opportunity to whip my new umbrella.......that doesn't work.

This got me thinking about other times karma comes back to get your ass and you never even realize it. I'm a firm believer that the foul shit that you do come back to you. Its all about negative energy. You put negative energy into the universe by doing bad shit. So now in order to keep the balance you gotta absorb some energy, guess what kind? That's right, the same kind you put out. You remember that girl you cheated on back in the day? Guess what your new honey is doing right now? And did your best friend answer his phone? Nope, I wonder why....... Karma is like that. It gets you back much worse for the foul deeds that you commit. The moral of the story, Do good and you'll get done good. simple I know, but it needed to be restated.