Tha King loves this guest blog shit for two reasons; one, I get a day off from blogging and two, I get to pass the mic to a very deserving person who for whatever reason hasn't started their own blog, yet.
Today its my boy Ice0. One of the brightest cats I know. Tha King would even venture as far as to say he looks up to this dude.(Which is hard to do *snickers*) anyways, show him love like you would Tha King and I'll check you guys on the flipside. Get em Ice!
I was given a soap box and fifteen minutes of blog fame. I know tha King stated that this is not a relationship blog; however, the ex is a virus that may poison the sacredness of you and yours. In my travels I wonder what the hell is the point of keeping in contact with the ex. I mean for the simple fact that this person got the X on his or her forehead means that it didn't work. I know, I know X may have had some positive things that benefit you, but those same things make the present uncomfortable. At some point the ex crosses the line. Calls late or says something disrespectful and think nothing of it because that person already went the distance in some cases. Majority of the time in an X situation someone felt like they left unfinished business. Furthermore doesn't it leave that vulnerability door wide open for potential mistakes to happen. Don't get me wrong but when I say contact I mean consistent contact. I would think that its more confusing than anything. Your partner can't tell whether your in contact because friendship or festering feelings. Some say its insecurity and some say relationship etiquette. What do you think? This isn't written in stone there are some X factors that turn out to be cool, but do yall think this is right?
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Great point Ice, the X is what it is. There is a reason that person is in your past, and in most cases should stay there. Granted there are certain occasions where that person is damn near unavoidable as in the case of coworkers, neighbors or people that had children together. Even in these scenarios, one has to wonder just how much contact is "ok" as well as when does your new significant other get the ok to tell you who you're "allowed" to carry conversation with. I understand and agree with whole heartedly your man/woman putting their foot down if you're going and compromising yourself in questionable scenarios with said X, but I for one will be damned before someone tells me I cannot speak to my kids father anymore. We've been thru hell together, had some good times that were just outweighed with bad and for the sanity of everyone involved we are friends.
ReplyDeletemost time people buy a brand new TV the love it to death they have it for years until the complications surface and before you know it they live with the TV til they hate it.....until they go and buy a bigger TV more modern and flashy something they can show off...but often time they refuse to throw out the old TV...so they can have a TV that works and a TV THAT DOES NOT WORK PROPERLY...I truly think that if you keep something around long enough you will find use for it somewhere in the future...which is why i agree wit bobby drake...throw the f'n TV OUT!!!..IDIOT BOX INDEED!!
ReplyDeleteIce to be completely honest, in my opinion, you are correct in your assessment of the X from hell. Being in a relationship with someone and having an X waiting in the rafters, is not a good look. For some reason its so hard to say goodbye like boys 2 men, but once you do, it should be final. Its just a set up for temptation to have some "fun" bc its not cheating once you've had a history. And, I also have a hard time stomaching that male & female "friendships" can exist without any attraction there.. so simply put, do your self a favor and STAY AWAY FROM THE X!!
ReplyDeleteGreat post Ice,
ReplyDeleteYou gotta look at it like this; You built a connection with someone. That doesn't go away easily. However if your in a new relationship you have to respect the person your with and so does your ex. Late night phone calls and inappropriate messages are not cool. Furthermore, If you do chose to have contact with an ex it would probably be to your benefit if done discreetly. Your S/O should be aware that you and your ex have contact but they shouldn't have to be reminded constantly, mean it shouldn't be done on "our" time. This is all if the feelings are platonic, if your ex is trying to get back in the picture all bets are off and you need to cut his/her ass off.
Hm I went through this before I got married and the husband wasn't feeling the whole talking to the X thing at all. But the thing is that I was used to talking to some of them (well not really X's but dudes I used to talk to) anyways he didn't appreciate it. Especially when he saw a text message the day that i got arrested. smh. When i first saw the text i meant to curse the dude out and then delete it but I was busy so i forgot. So he saw it and when i got out i got an ear full. In the beg. of our relationship first thing he told me was that X's were not to be talked to. You see at first I wasn't trying to hear that shit bcuz we just started dating but as time went on and we got into more arguments i just gave up on the situation. So at the end of the day having them as friends isn't even worth it, especially if you're trying to go somewhere with your current relationship.
ReplyDelete