I'm So Wasted.

Ladies and Gentleman, meet Braylon Edwards. Wide Receiver for the New York Jets and quite possibly the dumbest muthafu*ker walking the Earth today. Why you ask? Last week Edwards was arrested and charged with DUI. Police say Edwards was twice the legal limit in NYC. While stupid on it's own, this is especially dumb considering that the NFL provides it's players with a free car service of situations like this, they simply call and a luxury car with a firearm wielding driver takes them where ever they want to go. Add that to the fact that Edwards good friend and ex teammate Donte Stallworth is currently sitting in a jail cell serving time for vehicular homicide after striking a pedestrian while DUI. Edwards was riding in the car that night, all the more reason he should know the consequences of this actions.

Edwards is the latest poster boy for a much bigger problem. Acoholism is getting out of control in this country. Every weekend millions of people hit the bars and clubs and get "wasted". College students, middle age, even teenagers are drinking. The hoodrats just sit and drink at home, which is completely ridiculous to me.

While it's a problem that affects everyone, it seems that the Black community compunds the problem by hopping in their cars and attempting to drive. Tha King himself is guilty of this once or twice in my life. I can recall a time when I got into the car blacked out and woke up in front of my house. Lucky for me the most high decided to give me a pass that night, I could have just as easily not woken up at all that night. The worst thing about drinking and driving is that it puts other people in danger. If you wanna kill yourself go ahead, but there are innocent people walking the streets. Ask Donte Stallworth.

Use your head people, you shouldn't have to drink in order to have a good time. If you do than maybe you're not as cool as you think you are. If you're gonna drink though, take a fu*ckin cab! You just spent 150 dollars at the bar, can't you spend 130 instead and hop in a cab to go home?

Status-Quo

It’s seems that everyone on the planet has Facebook these days. What started out as a fancy way for college kids to copy homework and talk about tests has no become the largest social networking site ever. The creator is filthy rich and is having a movie based on him. Over past year and a half, Facebook has begun reached a new demographic; ignorant ass people.

Look at your timeline, for every positive, thought provoking and clever status update, there are probably 5 utterly f*cking ridiculous updates that make you want to delete the friend that it came from. With hundreds of friends and the potential for millions of people viewing wouldn’t you want your status, the tiny peek into your mind, to represent you in the best way possible?
Well you’re in luck. Tha King has been in this Facebook game for years, it’s made me an animal. There’s rules to this ish, I wrote me a manual. Follow my lead and you’ll avoid all the common status pitfalls.

1. No Relationship drama; No one wants to hear about how happy or unhappy you are in your relationship. Keep your drama in house. Oh, and for the women who like to brag about how good their man is in bed or how he’s the best boyfriend ever, all your friends that just liked your status are trying to sleep with your man. Good job genius.

2. No drunken status; this includes any status made while drunk or hung over. How you have the whereabouts to log onto Facebook and update your status, while you’re “so wasted that you can’t stand up” is a mystery to me.

3. Pure examples of ignorance; I just read a status that said “Can’t wait to get into my bed, clothes my eyes and go to sleep.” C’mon son, now we know who’s not smarter than a fifth grader.
4. Hoodratism Example “dese bum bitches out herre ain’t got shyt on me. I’ma five star dime bitch. Only dime bitches on deck ova here.” Translation; You’re a hood rat.

5. Creepy Hookup status; Well all know a guy that posts status updates such as this; “Sexy ladies hit me up if you ready for a real nigga. OOVOO- MYMEATISBIG, Skype- IEATDABOX” Facebook is not a dating site. Maybe you need to reevaluate why you can’t meet women in person and have to resort to the internet.

6. I hate my job status; you’ve got it all figured out don’t you? You can talk shit about your job and your boss because you use your middle name as your first name and shortened your last name. Your boss will never find you right? Did you stop and think about the BIG ASS PICTURE OF YOURSELF ON THE PAGE!? Or that you friend requested 2 of your co-workers last week? Start looking for a new job now.


Of course there are others, but these are the six important guidelines to avoid being a Facebook douchebag. Good luck (3 people like this)

She got that good hair.

What is good hair? I’m sure everyone knows what hair is, but good hair? The definition changes depending on who you ask. For women it seems that the definition of good hair is the shiny and flowing mane of straight hair. Problem is only about 20% of the world’s female population has this hair naturally. So the rest are left to try and figure out how to obtain this good hair. Black women have the most difficult time trying to recreate this style of hair, because it is almost the exact opposite of the hair they actually possess. So day after day Black women perm and process, chemical this, chemical that. For what? The two most logical reasons would be; to appeal men and to gain some sort of acceptance from women of other races, neither of which make the least bit of sense.

Let tackle the first one, men. Being part of the penis baring population, I believe I speak for the majority when I say. Hair is not on the list of top 5 things that man looks at when checking out a woman. Hell it’s barely in the top ten. We notice it of course, but never in history as a man uttered the phrase; “She’s great, but I could’t date/sleep with/ mess with her because I don’t like her hair.” Truthfully all that we ask is that you keep it nice and presentable. Ladies ask your men, would he trade in your head of flowing fake locks for a set of larger breasts or a fatter ass.

As far as women of other races are concerned, if you’re a black women you’ll never be accepted completely. There will always be something that you lack or have too much of in their eyes. Your hair is right? You’re too fat. Lost 30 LBS? You’re too dark. High Yella? You’re too loud. Accept that you’re not like them and you never will be. It doesn’t make you in less of a woman, it defines you as one. More power to ladies ditching the fake shit and rocking their doo how it was meant to be.

Beating around the Bush

For those that don't know, the person pictured above is Reggie Bush. Don't recognize him? Unfortunately he's gained more mainstream notoriety like this;

For those that don't know, 5 years ago when Kim K was just the big butt white b*tch that hangs with Paris Hilton,Bush was the best college football player in the country at the University of Southern California. USC games turned into theReggie Bush show as he weekly put up gaudy numbers and embarrassed defenders. Bush led the USC Tojans to the national championship game, along the way receiving college football's most prestigious award, the Heisman trophy.

Fast forward 5 years. Bush is coming off a Superbowl win. Kim K is.....what the hell is she anyway? A professional professional athlete fu*ker? All would seem well in Reggie's world when along comes in NCAA(National Collegiate Athletic Association for my estrogen infused readers.) They have been investigating Bush and have come to the conclusion that while he was in college he was receiving gifts from sport agents. This violates NCAA rules for student-athletes, making him ineligible to play.

The NCAA's purpose is to "Govern competition in a fair, safe, equitable and sportsmanlike manner, and to integrate intercollegiate athletics into higher education so that the educational experience of the student-athlete is paramount." That sounds nice, in reality what the NCAA does is exploit student athletes and schools for billions of dollars while at the same time preventing the players from making any money. The NCAA makes truck loads of money showing college football games on TV, through ticket sales, merchandise etc. So why is it that they prevent the student-athletes that are making them so much money from being able to make a few dollars on the side? If the player takes money for an autograph, a picture, a jersey, or anything else he his in violation of the NCAA rules. I could go on, but back to Bush

USC, his school, was fined millions of dollars, lost scholarships and had to erase all the wins and records they set that year. As a result, the have banned Bush from ever returning and wiped out all record of him ever attending. The Heisman trust, the group that awards the Heisman trophy, was set to vote on whether or not they would strip Reggie of his Heisman. Bush saved them the trouble and decided to return the trophy on his own.

More power to him if you ask me. The NCAA is one of the most hypocritical organizations in this country They make billions but don't let the players make a dime on the side? A large amount of college athletes come from impoverished areas and low income households. They view sports as a way out and a means of supporting themselves and their families. So why is it so bad if someone offers a kid a few thousand to sign some autographs or take a some pictures? As far as Bush's school is concerned, stop acting like you didn't conveniently look the other way while all of this was going down. If Bush drove an old Honda one year and next year is driving a Lexus, you might want to look into where he got the money for it from. You are not the victim.

At the end of the day Bush is being made the poster boy for a problem that takes place all over the country. Athletes in dozens of schools are getting gifts and receiving special treatment, to make it seem like Bush was the only one doing this is unfair, he's just the most famous. Although Bush has given back his Heisman, the amazing things he did on the field while at USC cannot be erased. Trophy or no trophy, Reggie Bush is the 2005 Heisman winner.

Of Mosques and Men

Tha King was a confession to make. Since I started this blog I've strayed away from more serious social and political topics. The main reason being that it seems like the sex and relationship related topics are the more popular, but I didn't start this blog to be popular. Going forward Tha King is going to make a concerted effort to incorporate all types of blog posts.

Every time I turn on the damn TV its Mosque this, Mosque that. For those unfamiliar with the situation it is as follows; The owners of a portion of land in downtown Manhattan are interested in building an Islamic cultural center. This portion of land happens to be two blocks away from the Ground Zero site. Needless to say, this has relatives of 9-11 victims and the conservative right wing upset. They claim that its disrespectful to the victims and are protesting the building of the cultural center.(Notice I keep referring to it as a cultural center and not a mosque, there's a difference) Various politicans including President Obama and Rudy Guliani have chimed in with thier two cents since the conflict came about.

Tha King believes this line of reasoning is pure bullshit.

First off I'd like to inform the masses of politicians that have weighed in on the subject that there is a concept in our very own Consitiution called the seperation of church and state. In other word, shut the f*ck up and mind your business. I give President Obama a pass because he is the leader of our country(supposedly) and he is expected to give his opinion on all hot button topics. That being said, he didn't have to champion the Islamic cause either, especially since 40% of the country think he is secertly a muslim anyway. Say your peace and keep it moving brotha.

Now, if the owners or the people in charge of this property(Not sure if its public or private owned) wish to build their Islamic cultural center two blocks from ground zero that is their perrogative and they have every right to. The arguement that it's disrespectful to the Ground Zero site is ridiculous. The attack on 9-11 was by a group of radical madmen who happened to be muslim. In no way is it reflective of the Islamic people as a whole. To those who believe otherwise I pose this question; Would you oppose a Catholic Church being built 2 blocks from a playground because of the preists that were asscused of sexually assulting children?

Although Tha King believes that the owner(s) of this property have every right to build their cultual center, they need to be aware of the reprecussions. The attacks on 9-11, be it fair or unfair, stur up anti-Islamic sentiment. A cultural center 2 blocks from ground zero would be a prime target for vandlism, protest and the like. We live in the real world, these things exist and have to be taken into account. I wouldn't go and build a Boston Red Sox museum across the street from Yankee stadium.

As with everything in the world. A little decency and respect for other's opinions and beliefs would go a long way in resolving this conflict.

Bringing Sexy Back; The 10 Sexiest WNBA players

Remember Love and Basketball? Tha King believes that Sanaa Lathan was at her all time sexiest in this movie. Why you ask? Cause she could ball! The female athlete is one of the sexiest creatures because they appeal to all sides of the male psyche. Who isn't turned on by some intelligent sports convo with a beautiful female?

This is why Tha King has always been a silent admirer of the WNBA. I first got introduced to it by my Grandfather, who was more than tickled by the fact that there were women on television playing ball. Watching them was probably more action than he'd gotten in quite sometime(just got a terrible visual, moving on) I quickly realized that the game of basketball is the same no matter who plays it. What a WNBA game lacks in high flying dunks it makes up for it with excellent teamwork and intensity. These bi*tches can ball, bottom line.

As with every sport, females ballplayers often get a bad rap; They can't really play, they're all lesbians, they all look like this:

Tha King feels it is my duty to inform you that none of the above are true. There are plenty of heterosexual, sexy women in the WNBA that can actually ball. So, just in time for the start of the WNBA playoffs. Tha King has compiled a list of the 10 most smashable WNBA players. Feel free to add to the list if I left someone out or you disagree.

DISCLAIMER; If you haven't figured out by now, Tha King is African American. As such, his tastes in women reflects his ethnicity. In other words, you won't find too many snowbunnies on this list.

10. Kamesha HairstonA little too high yellow for my liking, but a cute face and nice smile nonetheless. She reminds me of an actress or someone but I can't put my finger on who.

9. Diana TaurasiI Always catch a lot of grief for this one. I think she is a cutie. Who doesn't love a girl with freckles? Not to mention the fact that she may be the best female basketball player on the planet. I think that's pretty sexy. She looks like she has a little black in her, if she doesn't Tha King would be more than happy to put some in her.

8.Candice Wiggins She has that cute school girl look, until you get her on the court.She led the nation in scoring her last year at Stanford university, that means shes sexy, can buss your ass on the court AND is smarter than you.

7. Renee Montgomery

Love that smile, she looks like a cute little chipmunk. Oh, and her jumper is mean. Her college team went undefeated en route to the national championship How many dudes can say that?

6. Lauren Jackson

The big Aussie. No matter what your taste you gotta love this girl. If for no other reason but the sexy Australian accent. The WNBA and women's college basketball need to adopt this style uniform. I'm sure it would do wonders for ratings.

5. Cappie Pondexter It's fitting the she plays in New York now. Cappie has the big city swag and the game to match. They call her Lady Kobe, but she looks a hell of alot better than Kobe does in heels and short shorts.

4. Jennifer Lacey

Don't know much about this one, she's adorable though. I'd have a heard time sticking D on her, probably because I'd be thinking about sticking her with the D. I kid I kid


3.Chantelle Anderson

The apparent doubles as a model because her pics are all over the place. Dark skin, nice smile, great body and shes fast. I meant on the court, get your mind out the gutter.



2. Brianna January
She was the inspiration for this list. Tha King was enjoying his court side seats at the Liberty game when I noticed her. She's a feisty defender. I'd like to know what else she's feisty at.

1. Candace Parker

The things I would do to this women. She epitomizes the sexy female athlete. She is the only player, male or female, to win a collegiate championship, an Olympic gold medal and a professional championship in the same calendar year. She is the face of the WNBA and what a beautiful face it is. Did I mention she's only the 2nd player in WNBA history to dunk in game? Yep, she'll throw one down on that ass. That's fine though, Tha King will put it down on her ass any day of the week. My only criticism of her is that she married that ET looking clown Sheldon Williams.

Ballin Like the Lakers, Keep heat like Miami (Fu*k Lebron James)

Tha King has gotten 3 inquires about the blog on 3 consecutive days, a sign that maybe I should put down the Call of Duty for a while and starting writing. Today was a typical morning; wake up, pee, sports center, oatmeal and tea, Facebook. While doing my morning FB stalking I came across the following status;

"If u are still walkin around with a sidekick...let me ask u a question? what loop r u n?(I think that's supposed to be are you in)bc a nicca wanna kno."

Aside from this person writing on full keyboard like they are texting, which pisses me off, this status encapsulates one of the biggest problems in Black society( for the record, when I say "Black society" I mean African Americans, West Indians, Africans, Hispanics and Asian people from the hood. All you mofo's came from a black person, even if you don't want to accept it.) We're constantly judging people by the things that the own. I'm sure other people do, but the problem is that black people do it with dumb shit.

How many times have you heard someone say something like, "If you don’t have true religion jeans your a lame." Or maybe "Your wack if you don't got that new Blackberry." Since when does the type of jeans you have own determine your personal wealth. I can say with confidence that I've seen just as many loser with True Religion jeans and Blackberries as I have without. So we go out and we work overtime, borrow money and do whatever we have to do to get some True religions(200+) and the newest blackberry that you had to pay full price for because you wasted your phone upgrade on the sidekick you needed to be considered cool 2 years ago. So now you've spent damn near 700 bucks on jeans and a phone and guess what? Diddy or Jay-Z or whoever the hell we follow has just announced on Hot 97 that he has the HTC Evo now and if you don't have one you’re not ballin. Great job jackass, all that money and you’re still not ballin.

When the type of phone, sneakers, jeans and car that you have say more about a person than their job, family and education? All of these item to make you appear rich but you go home to a one bedroom apt shared by 4 people in the projects. Way to spend your money wisely. If you think your TR's, your iphone and your benz make you any more than just a nigga with a nice car in White America than you better think twice. They probably think you stole it all. Fool.

Start judging people by what’s in their head, not what's on their ass.