What is good hair? I’m sure everyone knows what hair is, but good hair? The definition changes depending on who you ask. For women it seems that the definition of good hair is the shiny and flowing mane of straight hair. Problem is only about 20% of the world’s female population has this hair naturally. So the rest are left to try and figure out how to obtain this good hair. Black women have the most difficult time trying to recreate this style of hair, because it is almost the exact opposite of the hair they actually possess. So day after day Black women perm and process, chemical this, chemical that. For what? The two most logical reasons would be; to appeal men and to gain some sort of acceptance from women of other races, neither of which make the least bit of sense.
Let tackle the first one, men. Being part of the penis baring population, I believe I speak for the majority when I say. Hair is not on the list of top 5 things that man looks at when checking out a woman. Hell it’s barely in the top ten. We notice it of course, but never in history as a man uttered the phrase; “She’s great, but I could’t date/sleep with/ mess with her because I don’t like her hair.” Truthfully all that we ask is that you keep it nice and presentable. Ladies ask your men, would he trade in your head of flowing fake locks for a set of larger breasts or a fatter ass.
As far as women of other races are concerned, if you’re a black women you’ll never be accepted completely. There will always be something that you lack or have too much of in their eyes. Your hair is right? You’re too fat. Lost 30 LBS? You’re too dark. High Yella? You’re too loud. Accept that you’re not like them and you never will be. It doesn’t make you in less of a woman, it defines you as one. More power to ladies ditching the fake shit and rocking their doo how it was meant to be.
I wish I can say that I don’t get my hair done for a man but I would be liar. In 2006 to 2007 I rocked my hair natural because I loved the way it felt and looked. During that period of my life I was single. I found that men in my age bracket (at the time I was 19-20) were not mature enough to look pass what they saw in the music videos to see someone who was real. I relaxed my hair right before my 21st bday and three months later started dating my current boy friend. To give him credit he didn’t know me during that time but I wonder. Black men have completely bought into the European standard of beauty, so it is not even just about us wearing our hair naturally. The more we don’t remind them of Africa in our physical features, the more chance we have of attracting one. Not ALL black men, but too many to count. I’ve recently decided to stop relaxing my hair and putting weaves in because it’s not for me and i love my natural. Do I hope my boyfriend loves it as much as i do? Hell yes...
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with the woman above. The main problem we have to worry about is acceptance. Black men idolize what they see on tv and in music videos, and desire women with the Kim Kardashian look so why wouldnt we, as Black women try to appease their desires. Its not like I wouldnt like to be accepted for who I naturally am, and save a lot of money by doing it but its just not possible nowadays.
ReplyDeleteBeing accepted socially depends on your appearance. Depending on what career feild/job you are persuing, they would rather you have a "polished" look, which is considered long straight hair. Many women, including myself arent ready to handle the pressures of natural hair and the transition into the natural process. So why not continue the pattern and conform? Not saying conforming is good but at this point its easier to continue my weaving & perming ways...
I think people do follow the fads of fashion and its similar to losing weight and wanting that model body. Ppl have difficulties embracing themselves or to be frank are too damn lazy. Its much easier to comb down a wrap or sew/glue some weave in then to try to style nappy or curly hair. And some textures I know are really hard to manage. But it gets ridiculous when young mothers who choose to relax their childs hair @ like age 4, which is insane!and a misfortune. Woman of color do not embrace there natural physique which is sad. But on the flip side a lot of us are turning away from the restraints of perm and chemical uses in our hair, like myself. I stopped perming my hair and I love my natural curls and if I want it straightened, I get it straightened with a hair dryer and flat iron, no chemicals. But it also nice to enjoy my natural state and not feeling like I can't do certain social activities for fear of "sweating my hair out". @ the end of the day we women are Very vain creatures and will do whatever it takes and however amount of $$ to have the "good" appearance whether its hair, apparel, or/and body, whether it be to impress ones-self, men or other females. Its the world we live in, we thrive on appearances...
ReplyDeleteWhat is good hair? For me as a black male in america that good hair is that nappy hair . Its hard to convince anybody else that natural is good for black woman . Who made the european style the measuring stick of what good hair is? i know its hard for my sisters to be their natural black self .At our jobs they want a black woman who has no black identity. At the same time they promote diversity. Black woman we love you no matter what i just love a sister who is nappy and happy and understands the history of what good hair is in the modern world.
ReplyDeleteThey way I see it, end of the day, as long as women have core traits that I find sexy (Intelligence, confidence, and most important of all, a great sense of humor) I'm satisfied. That said, while hair is not in the top 3 of my criteria, I'd be lying if I didn't say it wasn't in the top 10. A majority of us however, have fallen victim to the media's/society's idea of "good hair" (some harder than others). It's up to us to take this into account and adjust accordingly. Moral of the story: Ladies, keep doing your (natural) thing, and you'll eventually end up w/ someone who appreciates and deserves you.
ReplyDelete-GO LIGHT SKINNED NATION!
Well first of all, all hair types are beautiful. That's what makes everyone different. I'm multi-ethnic myself. My mother's mother is half Irish and half Hispanic. My mother's father is half German and half Native American, and my father is full African American. My hair is curly. Most people would say I have "good" hair. It looks short when it's curly and long when it's straight. I love my hair but it's very thick. I think African American women take their hair more seriously then any other race because they're insecure about it. I understand it may be harder to manage for them, but they should realize the beauty of it. The texture and the look of African hair is beautiful. That is how it's supposed to be. Ladies dont be afraid to be natural, I am.
ReplyDeleteI'm Puerto Rican, I am proud to be, I don't have any obvious typical Puerto Rican features, but sometimes I do wish I did, because then people would believe me, but i have typical European features, light skin Hazel eyes, wavy dark brown hair. But "btw" my hair used to be frizzy and dry/hard/coarse until i took care of it, now it's shiny and soft.. besides that I wish I had brown or light brown hair, because my hair is so dark, but that's just me, I'm never gonna die it though because my natural hair is so shiny, i wouldn't give up the shine for a color, and you girls shouldn't either, the right man will present himself, same for me he would too =D
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